Birds

It was so warm today. By nine o'clock I was in a tank top and my workout pants. I took Olive down to the dike for a run/walk (I had already worked out with Augie) so that she could stretch her dog legs.

Immediately we were met with bird chirps and the honk of geese. The swallows were diving in the air, a duck was bobbing in the river, and a flicker was perched on the fence post. Hawks were soaring above and the robin, whose tune is so lovely, was singing in the high trees.

My mind immediately went to the list of birds I heard named on Democracy Now the other day, birds that  my mom has pointed out to me in Florida for the past two years, birds who have supplied so much pleasure in their beauty, mannerisms, and overall presence. Now they are all threatened due to the ineptitude, disfunction, and greed of big business, namely BP, although our government has been slow in a response as well.

It makes me so happy that the birds are singing where I live, that I am fortunate enough to have birds that want to sing and be bird-like, and my heart goes out to all of the species that are being effected by this disaster.

Sex and the City: old memories, new memories

The movie theater was all women tonight; women of all shapes and sizes and ages, some boisterous and cat-calling, some dressed to the tee and chic. The energy was invigorating. And we were all gathered to watch Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte take the screen yet again in the rather embarrassingly entertaining sequel Sex and the City 2. Not quality film-making by any means, but rather a decadent display of fashion, frivolity, and relationships, the movie reminded me of how much I loved getting lost in the TV series.

Memory: I remember my first year in Jackson, sitting on the basement couch in our Cache Creek Dr. house, eating popcorn with C. and watching episode after episode of Sex and the City. Characters with worlds so different from our own, yet the messages in the series often spoke to our own lives. And the fashion was always so much fun to witness and drool over. Carrie's bravery when it comes to dressing remains an inspiration to me to this day.

Don't go to this movie for content, great plot, or witty writing, but rather for the nostalgia it invokes and the escapism that it provides.

Memory: I now have a great memory of leaving the Pearl St. theater with A and S, dressed in my Marc Jacobs shoes that I got at Browser for a dollar (Carrie would approve of the brand, maybe not the method secured) that match my jacket, big earrings, tight jeans, feeling happy to be a woman yet again. The air is warm, all the ladies exiting the theater are laughing, and I feel like I have gone on a journey.

Sunshine

Sunshine makes all of the difference. Yesterday peoples faces looked filled with tiredness and conversations inevitably turned to the weather, and how dismal it has been. Spring in the mountains but it feels like winter. Today though, the sun was shining and despite the still cold breezes everyone seemed a little lighter.

I started my day out on the dike, one of my favorite runs, with my favorite dog. Even the birds were ecstatic, all singing and chirping, swallows diving in ribbon-like patterns catching rejuvenated bugs. The sun made me feel light and quick on the trail.

I had one of those days were I just wanted to smile and talk to everyone. I am usually a friendly person, but today there was a renewed feeling of being lucky to live in a place where people look you in the eye, say hello, and genuinely acknowledge you.

J and I rode our bikes to see some friends off on their next adventure. Although still wearing the light down coat, it felt great to be on my bike, pedaling myself to my destination. On the way home the sky was tinged with pink and a white, feathery almost full moon was rising above Cache Creek.

A good day. Weather please stay.

The Happenings That Made Today Special

Olive and I walked to Putt Putt this morning, the grey clouds low but forming amazing patterns in the sky, and against the grey caught a brilliancy of orange. A tanager making his way north, stopping for a rest in a tree in an East Jackson yard. His coloring was amazing, one of those birds that you can't quite believe really exists. An omen for a joyful day.

Slightly frantic in my usual lateness to work, I pulled out of Stormy Circle and was met with an old lady, in her eighties I am guessing, with her thumb out! I of course pulled over and got the pleasure of meeting "Moosie" who had been to the hospital to get her eyes checked and needed a ride to the post office. So thankful, so sharp, so smiling and beautiful, she made my morning ride to work one of the best I have ever had. It made me realize how infrequently I am around the elderly, and how many of them have so much to teach and tell.

Watching Olive follow me dutifully around the agility course, whether I am leading her correctly or not, is always an amazing experience because it feels like we are almost one being. And her excitement when she gets it right and gets to have a treat! And my excitement when I get it right and am rewarded with her beaming grin! It doesn't seem crazy at all to me in those moments that I am willing to drive 3000 miles across this country in order for my dog to be in Maine safely and soundly this summer. She really is a friend that I receive so much from. How could I not have her there...

Sitting with a table full of ladies at Picas. Hearing stories, hardships, laughter. Recognizing how we are all so unique, but also so human at the same time. The connections of females are powerful; makes me so glad and fortunate to be a woman.

Sleep.

10 Beautiful Aspects of a Tuesday

1. Buying J breakfast and lunch for the plane at Whole Grocer.
2. Realizing that I feel quite calm about the wedding overall.
3. This happened yesterday, but the excitement carried over to today....having my parents tell me that J and I can stay at my grandfathers cabin after we get married, land that I grew up on.
4. Talking to R openly, honestly, and deeply while at work.
5. Hearing my brothers voice, laugh, and that he will drive many miles across the country with me if that is what I want.
6. The smell of sage after the rain.
7. A fresh salad for dinner.
8. Talking to my beautiful friend C, who is truly one of my most favorite people on the planet.
9. My comfortable bed and sleep. 

29 Gifts

Last night I finished the book 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life by Cami Walker. She is a woman living with MS, whose life was in decline until she was introduced to the 29 days of giving. Now, although still living with the degenerative disease, she has created an international phenomena of giving through her website www.29gifts.org.

The book chronicles her journey through the 29 days, how her heart opens to others, her gratitude for life expands, and how giving openly brings healing and amazing opportunities into her life.

Cami Walkers Story:

The first day of my personal 29-Day Giving Challenge was preceded by a sleepless night. I was awake all night feeling angry and sorry for myself during a difficult flare up of my Multiple Sclerosis. When insomnia hits, I often go through old journals and read them. I found a note that I'd made during a phone session with one of my spiritual teachers, Mbali Creazzo, two months before. The note said, "Give something away each day for 29 days." It was 3 a.m. and I decided in that moment to take the suggestion.

And so my 29-Day Giving Challenge began that morning as I gave my first gift -- a simple supportive phone call to another friend living with MS. I woke up the next day and the next day after that feeling excited about what I might give away. And I began to notice that the more I gave away, the more abundance I was experiencing for myself.

I wanted to see what would happen in my life if I really committed and focused my energy on giving for 29 days. What space would it create in my life for new and unexpected things to occur? What shifts would I see in my thinking and behavior as a result? What impact would my gifts have on others? These were just a few of the questions I was curious about in the beginning, but there’s no way I could have anticipated what unfolded for me.

By Day 29, I was astounded by the magical and miraculous shifts in my energy for life:

• I was feeling happier, healthier, and more in awe with life.
• I found myself smiling and laughing more.
• My body got stronger and I was able to stop walking with my cane by Day 14.
• My business exploded with new, unexpected opportunities and I was able to go back to work part-time again after months of being too sick to work.
• I began connecting with a community of new friends in Los Angeles after feeling isolated in my new home for several months. With help from the website, I also reconnected with my community of friends from San Franciscio and the Midwest, where I had lived previously.
• My creativity opened up and I began writing stories regularly.
• I began experiencing a deeper intimacy in my relationship with my husband, family and friends.

The list of changes goes on and on. This is only the beginning.
When I started out, nothing was planned. I simply began the day and when I felt moved to give something, I did. Part of me initially wanted to plot out the 29 days and line up the things I was giving in my hallway so I had the illusion of knowing what to expect. But collapsing into that old, manipulative and controlling way of being would defeat the purpose of the experiment.


I documented what I gave away and any observations I made each day. I began to post the stories online. Who knows, I thought, maybe others will decide to take the 29-Day Giving Challenge and experience a similar positive impact on their lives. So I decided to invite some friends to join me and within a couple weeks of sending the first invitation over 120 people signed up and committed to the Challenge.


My goal with the 29-Day Giving Challenge is to create a worldwide revival of the giving spirit in the world. I want to inspire more generosity on the planet and help change lives, one gift at a time.

Mothers

I felt like a mother this morning when Olive jumped up on the bed and nestled down for her daily snuggle fest. Of course I get this every morning, but it made me feel good to think of myself as Olive's mom, as strange as that may sound.

My own dear mother is such a good one. She is one of my best friends and I wish that I lived closer to her; our distance is sometimes really hard. I would love for her and my father to come out in their little camper and stay here a long, long time. Our mom's day talk revolved around the wedding (of course), but even in that, I am so thankful to have a mother who just wants the best for Jamie and I, not the chance to recreate her own wedding day. She and my dad are putting so much into this day, perhaps more than I. Except I will have to be the one on display for the whole day (or week), which is a position that I will need to practice.

Today I thought about how many mothers I know that are my age, how magically and miraculously they have reached motherhood. Which means that I am that age as well. Time goes so quickly. Songs from high school come on the radio and, in some ways, I feel like teenagerdom was yesterday. Amazing that so many of my friends are mothers, some have been for a while, while I struggle to be a good dog mama everyday.

Being a mother, any parent really, is so awe inspiring. I respect that women take that journey, sacrificing so much. Although, many have told me, including my own, that it was the best decision they ever made.

Olive is my baby now. Someday she will have to share me with a little person.

Remembering What it is All About...

Today I rode the pre-wedding roller coaster, complete with large hills and low valleys. Crying one moment and laughing the next. When I answered C's phone call crying, she thought something had happened to Olive. It made me realize how trivial my tears really were....losing my favorite pooch in the whole world would be hundreds of times worse than not having bridesmaid dresses available. Put it in perspective.

I also realized as the day went on how easy it is too lose track of what this wedding is really about. It is incredibly easy to get wrapped up in details that no one, including myself, will probably remember. But those details are also what make it unique, us, special. It is a complicated balance between being okay with what is and striving to have a beautiful event. There is so much pressure on the day, when really the importance is in the journey afterwards; meshing your life with someone else is an adventure, even if you have lived with that person for almost seven years already.

It is about families and friends coming together. J said to me in the car the other day, "it will be nice to have a small wedding, to really be able to spend time with the people who are there...". And I thought that he was really bummed that more people weren't coming. That is what it is about, and I am trying to keep that forefront in my mind, even when bumps come along.

Tonight, a couple of Jackson friends told me that they were coming to Maine. I thought they weren't going to make it because of the distance and price, but they are going to make it happen. It filled me with love. Having people from all facets of my life coming together with those that make up J's life will be such a magical occurrence. I am looking forward to that more than anything....

Dog Happiness

No one would ever think that going for a walk, with the cold wind whipping your face and fat snowflakes flying around you, would be much fun. But that is the walk I took this morning with Olive and Drifter and it was fabulously entertaining. I laughed a lot, which often happens with my border collie/aussie. But when you have two of these personality-filled dogs, hilarity ensues.

Olive goes slightly crazy in weather with wind and wet. She races around, circling and forming figure eights, often with stick in mouth. Drifter joined in at times, although less enthusiastically. We came upon a snow patch, both dogs jumping into it to roll, romp and play with one another.

We saw one other person from afar, that was all. And at the end I felt light despite the cold and both dogs were ready for water and naps.

A good start for the day.

Otter

Something made me stop on the dike and look out at the flowing river, moving quicker now with a little snow melt, and notice the shiny small head gliding through the water. Against the current, so I knew it wasn't a floating log. Suddenly an otter behind and powerful webbed feet flipped up and the graceful animal dived for fish, reappearing and continuing his swim. He made circles in the river, diving and reemerging, his feet smacking the water. I was close enough to hear the impact.

It was amazing.

It made me feel lucky to witness such beauty, while also feel such sadness for all of the animals and species suffering down south in the Gulf. Man's greed once again causing harm to other living things. It kills me, just like it did when I saw the images on TV of the Valdez spill in Alaska as a younger person, that such events happen and cause so much pain, harm, and death.

Such an event makes me feel sheltered and also helpless. My hope goes out to that area....

Sharing Place

An aspect of having dance companies in town that I love is how most of them have never experienced an environment like Jackson, from Dancers' Workshop's personal hospitality to the friendly smiles of people on the street to the towering snow-capped mountains that backdrop this town. The sharing of your place to new eyes is always a delight, and although I still constantly notice the beauty, there is a freshness in sharing it with newcomers.

Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet had a short visit. But some of them will be back. And we made fast friends with the tech people, who we will surely see when we escape the country for some city time. The weekend was magical, in large part due to the electric audience at Saturday evening's performance, who filled the sold-out show with enthusiasm and a developed love of dance in Jackson. 

The work of Cedar Lake is quite contemporary and it was apparent to all witnessing, whether in the first row or the last, the strength and amazing technique of all of the dancers. 

Having companies visit is one of the true perks of working at DW. Not only because we get to meet the dancers, take them out dancing and to restaurants and on scenic tours, but because it reminds me of the intensity, beauty, diversity, and similarities of art.

What a weekend....