Time-Work-Beauty-Bliss

Today I thought about how it felt when I didn't have a job a few years ago, about what I did with my time, about how I floundered a bit. I wonder if I would be the same way now. It is always easier to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but I can't help but think that I would use my time better, would feel more confident to do art and writing and put it both out there. Today I felt a bit like I was running behind the bus, just a little late for everything, and like there were multiple buses I was attempting to catch. Too much on my mind and not enough of it is important, or important to me personally!! I am liking DW right now, liking that I am calm about being there, but sometimes the list feels HUGE and insurmountable. And when I find myself sitting for hours in front of a computer screen I wonder if this is what I am really supposed to be doing.

There is a woodpecker that is doing serious work on a dead tree along Hagen Trail. Each morning there have been a few more holes and wood chips on the snow. They work so hard, banging their heads again and again and again. Yesterday Olive and I sat and watched him, my one hand on Olives nape in case she mistook the bird for a squirrel, which has happened. So diligent and eager and purposeful.

The sky a brilliant pink tonight, casting a rosy glow over everything. Having been inside all day, I opted for a dog walk rather than agility in a dirty horse arena. Olive and I met Babs and Zeppo, her Newfoundland and one of Olives boyfriends, driving and Olive and Zep exchanged doggie kisses through the window. Priceless. The open display of affection and adoration. Olive kept looking over her shoulder as they drove away, wondering why we were walking the other direction.

Dance class tonight was the most blissful part of my day. It just feels good to dance. To move in those organic and free-flowing ways. I can feel myself over thinking things, when so much about modern is just letting the flow overtake you. It made me think about how I was when I first started at Augie's, how I just wanted to get things intellectually when the true test was to let my mind quiet. Want to keep that in mind for the next modern class.