Studio Nerves

Today I fell nervous about my impending and drawn out move into this studio space of mine. I feel like my time gets eaten away by my work, my work that pays, and today I was just sensitively aware of how my attention gets directed. And how I will have to shift my priorities once I am in my studio. It is a good first step to get rid of my CCJH job, but Dancers' Workshop will also have to lessen in its demand. Or I will have to step back from the hold it has over me and my days. That is probably more of the case.

I am more on edge this week about this new venture I am on. A space of my own that I pay for and that is surrounded by other artists. I have all of these ideas that are in my head, not on paper, and I look at artists online and dream about a life of art-making. Harder to say than do. And I don't want to have expectations of myself that fall flat. The balance between not having too high of expectations and pushing oneself towards goals is a hard one for me. I already feel this need to be down there, painting the walls and moving my stuff in. Today I feel a little bit like I have to prove that I deserve to have a space, like others are watching to see if it really was meant for me....