It was hard to leave the clear fall day and enter the theater of the Center for the Arts yesterday evening, but I was so appreciative that I did. TedX Jackson Hole was centered around the theme of discovery, little snippets of talks about everything from ethno-medicine to social media, bringing the topics of science, art, culture, and social issues together into one evening of captivation and inspiration. And these were all local individuals, save two. Ted talks are formated to be only ten to twenty minutes in length, enough to relay information and leave the listener wanting to learn more. I have been inspired more than once by a Ted talk, this one by Elizabeth Gilbert has been one I have returned to often.
I left the night with my mind whirring in many directions, namely with the urge to do something that makes a difference for others, that makes the world a brighter place. How to use my gifts to bring transformation of some sort. Some of the most touching....
--Leticia Liera and Isabel Zumel created College Bound Latinas to work with young Latinas to encourage them in their capableness and ability to shun statistics and pursue a college education. Pure inspiration from these young women and their champions in their pursuit of their dreams.
--Paul Allen Cox who heads up the Institute for EthnoMedicine located in Jackson, WY who is doing pioneering work in the understanding and curing of ALS and Lou Gerigs disease. The Institute's study of remote Pacific island villages with high levels of ALS led to the consideration of BMAA—a toxic amino acid—as a possible trigger for certain neurodegenerative illnesses in genetically vulnerable individuals. They found that BMAA is produced by cyanobacteria which occur throughout the world.
--Amelia Terrapin who is the founder of Mobius, a movement-based science curriculum that strives to influence the typical ways of learning in the classroom and imbue children with the sense that science can be understood through a creative lens, rather than at the desk or through a test or reading.
I went home in the crisp darkness full of warmth, feeling fortunate to live in a electrifying community and full of my own potential.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Looking Up
In Lyn Dalebout's Astrological posting for today, July 16, she talks about how the Sun enters sidereal Cancer and is aligned with Procyon, the star of great loyalty and also called the Faithful Hound. She tells readers to shower their faithful dog-friends with treats and love and recognize the endless gifts and lessons they bring to our lives. They are holy guides, Lyn writes. Indeed they are; I learn daily from my furry beast.
Walking on Hagen Trail with Olive this morning, I contemplated the insights that she shares on a daily basis. A sensitive and aware dog, Olive is not keen with unknown objects above her. She notices planes, birds, and, most notably and with great fear, paragliders, those large pterodactyl-like objects that make her head for the woods. She is always looking up, surveying the sky. Look up.
Look up when you are feeling down and notice the multitude of gifts that surround your life. Look up and radiate confidence, while seeing what is ahead. Look up and notice the details in your everyday life, from the least obvious to the most blatant. While glancing skyward is a sign of Olive's primitive animal nature (have to protect myself from the big, bad paraglider), it is also a perfect metaphor for approaching daily life and living in awareness.
Once again my holy guide astounds me.
Walking on Hagen Trail with Olive this morning, I contemplated the insights that she shares on a daily basis. A sensitive and aware dog, Olive is not keen with unknown objects above her. She notices planes, birds, and, most notably and with great fear, paragliders, those large pterodactyl-like objects that make her head for the woods. She is always looking up, surveying the sky. Look up.
Look up when you are feeling down and notice the multitude of gifts that surround your life. Look up and radiate confidence, while seeing what is ahead. Look up and notice the details in your everyday life, from the least obvious to the most blatant. While glancing skyward is a sign of Olive's primitive animal nature (have to protect myself from the big, bad paraglider), it is also a perfect metaphor for approaching daily life and living in awareness.
Once again my holy guide astounds me.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Lessons
As I embark on a new art project this month, I hope to hold onto some of the lessons learned while creating costumes for a Contemporary Dance Wyoming piece this past June.
One of the largest insights is to use all of the time available to me and not wait until the last minute. I stretched the production of these costumes over many months (very unlike me), and was, therefore, able to enjoy the process even more, explore different possible paths with ease, and play a great deal. The level of stress, although present at times, was manageable.
Play is another lesson, even more important than using my time wisely, because it gets to the essence of how I would like to approach my art and most aspects of life. There was one magical moment while watching the dancers in rehearsal and simultaneously piecing together the costume layers with Babs Case, an individual who exemplifies approaching life through play, when I felt like a little kid again. Playing with colors and shapes and how it all fit on a human body....I left that afternoon incredibly uplifted and excited to push the costumes further in a direction that would make them look their best under the theater lights. This is always a hard aspect of creating for me to remember, the idea of keeping art-making light and explorative. I tend to fall into these troughs of seriousness and perfectionism that leave me paralyzed for periods of time.
Finally, the idea of continually exploring the process even when a project or a piece might be in the product phase and recognizing that an artwork can always go in new directions and morph into another creation. Remaining open and curious and challenging yourself to not close doors, while acquiescing to time and having the work "done" at certain points. That is living a creative life and when I find myself in that flow, in that groove, it is equivalent to bliss.
May we all have time, play, and curiosity in our lives!
One of the largest insights is to use all of the time available to me and not wait until the last minute. I stretched the production of these costumes over many months (very unlike me), and was, therefore, able to enjoy the process even more, explore different possible paths with ease, and play a great deal. The level of stress, although present at times, was manageable.
Play is another lesson, even more important than using my time wisely, because it gets to the essence of how I would like to approach my art and most aspects of life. There was one magical moment while watching the dancers in rehearsal and simultaneously piecing together the costume layers with Babs Case, an individual who exemplifies approaching life through play, when I felt like a little kid again. Playing with colors and shapes and how it all fit on a human body....I left that afternoon incredibly uplifted and excited to push the costumes further in a direction that would make them look their best under the theater lights. This is always a hard aspect of creating for me to remember, the idea of keeping art-making light and explorative. I tend to fall into these troughs of seriousness and perfectionism that leave me paralyzed for periods of time.
Finally, the idea of continually exploring the process even when a project or a piece might be in the product phase and recognizing that an artwork can always go in new directions and morph into another creation. Remaining open and curious and challenging yourself to not close doors, while acquiescing to time and having the work "done" at certain points. That is living a creative life and when I find myself in that flow, in that groove, it is equivalent to bliss.
May we all have time, play, and curiosity in our lives!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
 |
| www.jhculturefront.org |
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Working With My Hands & My Voice
I forget how much I love gardening as a job, despite the back pains and the red stripe from the sun that can appear along your back from bending over. I fondly remember the summer after my sophomore year in college when I gardened with four good friends and stayed tan and fit. I felt a bit of that today, although maybe more conscious of how much older I am now. I love picking out plants, getting my hands dirty, and making gardens neater and tidier. You can see your work and your attention so clearly when digging in the dirt; the outcome is always better than when you started.
I also had my last Local Arts Classroom session today. It made me a little sad, partly because I could have gotten more out of it, strived to gain more from the experience. I realized that I have always felt this way about school, that I could have learned more by digging deeper, asking more questions. Being a listener is not a bad trait in the least but, when it comes to learning, sometimes it is seriously detrimental. We had to meet as small groups before today's session and talk about our experiences with the course. I was the group leader for my seven person group, a position I was randomly placed in. It was good for me to play that role and I always realize, when I am forced to do so, that I lead quite well and that when I say something, it can come out sounding articulate and thoughtful. I don't trust that ability enough. A good lesson today in being proud of my voice....
I also had my last Local Arts Classroom session today. It made me a little sad, partly because I could have gotten more out of it, strived to gain more from the experience. I realized that I have always felt this way about school, that I could have learned more by digging deeper, asking more questions. Being a listener is not a bad trait in the least but, when it comes to learning, sometimes it is seriously detrimental. We had to meet as small groups before today's session and talk about our experiences with the course. I was the group leader for my seven person group, a position I was randomly placed in. It was good for me to play that role and I always realize, when I am forced to do so, that I lead quite well and that when I say something, it can come out sounding articulate and thoughtful. I don't trust that ability enough. A good lesson today in being proud of my voice....
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
June, thus far
There is so much to write that I am going to recap instead of trying to back date my posts and feeling overwhelmed in that process. The month has been a gorgeous one. I am so content and happy with where I live and this amazing place that I get to call home. It has been comforting to be in one place, despite my whirlwind travel fun, and to nestle back into my house.
The Contemporary Dance Wyoming performances the weekend of June 15 and 16 were highlights, giving opportunity for the visual and performance arts to mix and mingle. It felt good to stretch my creativity and see it come out in a new art form for me, costume design. Watching the awe-inspiring dancers move in my creations, how the costumes would move and change with their bodies, the organic nature of the movement and material and shape coming together. Both the costumes and the dance changed during every performance: the dancers energy altering the feel of the piece and the pods crushing on the costumes in new and intriguing ways. I would check the costumes and repair any minor damages after each show and it was thrilling to see the shapes that the wire and clothe would take, different every time. This was a magical opportunity that only reaffirmed my respect and true devotion to Dancers' Workshop and the artistry that resides there.
Another moment was just last week, while catering for and with my friend Karen and her new business Firebelly. Karen has a mobile wood-fired pizza oven that she trucks around to events and parties, creating delectably crispy pizzas with creative toppings for attendees to enjoy. A true art. It has been fascinating to learn more about pizza dough, about how to construct a good pie, and to enjoy some of the concoctions. We catered at this amazing home high on a Kelly butte last week, the Tetons and the Gros Ventre river stretching out before us. The sunset didn't disappoint, with yellows, pinks and oranges inking across the sky, framing the grand mountains. The owners have a pet crow that they rescued at birth (along with seven fabulous dogs. Someday I will have a pack.) that is tame and sits on the shoulders of those she is friendly with. I got to hold her and look in that fabulously intelligent bird's eyes and see her expressions up close, her clawed feet griping my arm. Only an hour before I rescued a stunned hummingbird and held the little bird on my finger tip before he flew away safely and soundly. The green of his wings and the purple of his chest...and the littlest eye imaginable blinking at mine. A magical evening of nature at her finest.
Lastly, my trip this past weekend to the City of the Rocks in Idaho, one of the most magical, tucked away places. Although it didn't seem so quiet due to the crowds (surprising), it was still wonderful to get away from the cell phone and computer and be surrounded by the huge masses of rock in a high desert surrounding. Camping with great friends and terrific doggies, climbing for three days after being away from the sport, relishing the feel of rock against fingertips and feet-a great weekend of fun. Climbing pushes me in ways that are both hard and so rewarding. I really think that the sport is one of the best metaphors for life, for working through fear and trying, whether your foot slips or not. Some days end in tears, other in smiles, and it is all okay. The new sliver moon was growing while we were there and on our last night, we were able to scale the rock next to our campsite and enjoy the sinking of the sun, our vista allowing us 360 degree views.
The Contemporary Dance Wyoming performances the weekend of June 15 and 16 were highlights, giving opportunity for the visual and performance arts to mix and mingle. It felt good to stretch my creativity and see it come out in a new art form for me, costume design. Watching the awe-inspiring dancers move in my creations, how the costumes would move and change with their bodies, the organic nature of the movement and material and shape coming together. Both the costumes and the dance changed during every performance: the dancers energy altering the feel of the piece and the pods crushing on the costumes in new and intriguing ways. I would check the costumes and repair any minor damages after each show and it was thrilling to see the shapes that the wire and clothe would take, different every time. This was a magical opportunity that only reaffirmed my respect and true devotion to Dancers' Workshop and the artistry that resides there.
Another moment was just last week, while catering for and with my friend Karen and her new business Firebelly. Karen has a mobile wood-fired pizza oven that she trucks around to events and parties, creating delectably crispy pizzas with creative toppings for attendees to enjoy. A true art. It has been fascinating to learn more about pizza dough, about how to construct a good pie, and to enjoy some of the concoctions. We catered at this amazing home high on a Kelly butte last week, the Tetons and the Gros Ventre river stretching out before us. The sunset didn't disappoint, with yellows, pinks and oranges inking across the sky, framing the grand mountains. The owners have a pet crow that they rescued at birth (along with seven fabulous dogs. Someday I will have a pack.) that is tame and sits on the shoulders of those she is friendly with. I got to hold her and look in that fabulously intelligent bird's eyes and see her expressions up close, her clawed feet griping my arm. Only an hour before I rescued a stunned hummingbird and held the little bird on my finger tip before he flew away safely and soundly. The green of his wings and the purple of his chest...and the littlest eye imaginable blinking at mine. A magical evening of nature at her finest.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Space
I love exploring art galleries in new cities, navigating the streets and peering into windows. Finding them is much easier with the addition of a smart phone, its infinite wisdom directing you when and where you should turn. The days of holding a paper map with a forlorn lost expression of a tourist is gone.
One of my favorite galleries that I discovered recently in Seattle was Gallery IMA. I was immediately drawn in by the intimate drawings on board that were found on their white walls. Drawings made up of multiple fine lines, meticulously drawn with an architects hand, placed over free-formed, watered-down oil washes.
One of my favorite galleries that I discovered recently in Seattle was Gallery IMA. I was immediately drawn in by the intimate drawings on board that were found on their white walls. Drawings made up of multiple fine lines, meticulously drawn with an architects hand, placed over free-formed, watered-down oil washes.
This photo doesn't quite do the piece justice, as you have to peer close to admire the intricacies and small details that artist Paul Lorenz finds in the oil puddles and shapes that form. The space that he creates in these works though, the depth and the feeling of floating through loose but controlled environments, is astounding. It was hard to leave and pull myself away. I realize that the more I look at art, I am so attracted to work that is, at first glance, simple and about the process more than the product. The attributes of color, space, texture, and composition are more appealing to me than any narrative or recognizable form. It is about a feeling.
Lorenz has made me want to return home and draw, return to the exploration of 2-d art.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Artist
Moods are so interesting. How they shift and bend, stretch and linger. When in a mood, it is not easy for me to pull myself out of it, although I have tried to learn to observe it and figure out what is at the roots. Good and bad; it is all a case to study. How our minds shift according to the weather, a conversation, a smile, an experience and suddenly we have gone from the depths to cloud nine. Or vice versa.
Today sailed light years ahead of yesterday. Yesterday was filled with doubt and questions and sadness and fear. Today was filled with more assuredness and answers and happiness and confidence. For me, it often has to do with getting out of my head and talking to others. Mother, friend, stranger.
I want to be an artist. I am an artist, but want to push it more, make more work, be more dedicated, sacrifice a little more. It is not an easy path, but one that makes my heart sing more than any other I can dream up. Looking at artists that I admire, seeing their work and their name on vinyl stretching across the white walls of a gallery, I think, I want that, I want that to be me.
Today sailed light years ahead of yesterday. Yesterday was filled with doubt and questions and sadness and fear. Today was filled with more assuredness and answers and happiness and confidence. For me, it often has to do with getting out of my head and talking to others. Mother, friend, stranger.
I want to be an artist. I am an artist, but want to push it more, make more work, be more dedicated, sacrifice a little more. It is not an easy path, but one that makes my heart sing more than any other I can dream up. Looking at artists that I admire, seeing their work and their name on vinyl stretching across the white walls of a gallery, I think, I want that, I want that to be me.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Routine and Inspiration
I had an amazing trip to the East Coast, filled with sensory stimulation on all levels. From tasting Ethopian food to smelling roses, from looking at art galore to listening to the buzz of a city street. And touching everything with either hand, foot, or tongue. The experience was rich and full. The uniqueness of the moments are what I will remember and the people, dear friends and family, that helped make those moments. I was inspired and touched and pushed and allowed to let lose and be invisible in a sea of thousands.
By the end I was ready to come home to my quiet corner of the world, full of so much stimulation and visual imagery. I have found though that with the break has come a forgetfulness of patterns that I value so much. I realize as I get older that I like routines very much, despite hating to admit it and grasping at the image of myself as a spontaneous person. They are a great comfort and provide so much sustenance to me, from writing to meditation to yoga to making art. Lethargy has been hanging over my head since my return to Jackson and the groove that I found myself in before I departed seems to have evaporated. I know that it will return, that it has to be relearned to some degree, but the situation is intriguing to me. Here I was, traveling and seeing the world, seeing other art and artists that moved me, yet part of me just wanted to stay in my routine of life at home, stay in the rhythm that I had found of getting up, taking care of me (and my dog) and then going to the studio to dive into creativity. Working towards the life that is in my dreams, is what it comes down to.
I have been disrupted, for awfully good reasons, and I am about to leave again for another week-long adventure, but there is the part of me that is already looking forward to coming home to continue carving out the path that is my future.
By the end I was ready to come home to my quiet corner of the world, full of so much stimulation and visual imagery. I have found though that with the break has come a forgetfulness of patterns that I value so much. I realize as I get older that I like routines very much, despite hating to admit it and grasping at the image of myself as a spontaneous person. They are a great comfort and provide so much sustenance to me, from writing to meditation to yoga to making art. Lethargy has been hanging over my head since my return to Jackson and the groove that I found myself in before I departed seems to have evaporated. I know that it will return, that it has to be relearned to some degree, but the situation is intriguing to me. Here I was, traveling and seeing the world, seeing other art and artists that moved me, yet part of me just wanted to stay in my routine of life at home, stay in the rhythm that I had found of getting up, taking care of me (and my dog) and then going to the studio to dive into creativity. Working towards the life that is in my dreams, is what it comes down to.
I have been disrupted, for awfully good reasons, and I am about to leave again for another week-long adventure, but there is the part of me that is already looking forward to coming home to continue carving out the path that is my future.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Refuge
This has been my work space for the last couple of months. At first I was scared that I would treat it like my old studio in The Factory, a place that I rarely visited. Now, because of a change of priorities, I feel a little sad when I don't make it down there. I love having an open space, hearing what others are listening to and working on, and having a big window full of sunlight and views of the mountains. Behind the studio are trails that wind up the buttes and into the canyon, offering needed escapes from the art-making, to cavort with the little dog and watch while she glides through the sage brush in pursuit of chiselers. Blue-its were out yesterday with the little bit of rain, a promise of spring despite the snow-topped trees above.
I am working on a dragon head for the Bra for the Cause and three pod-costumes. What could be more random but magical than that?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Wanting to Eat Dinner in the Morning
This is how I feel at times. Putting the cart before the horse. Wanting the end product (what is that?) before going through all of the steps to get there. Putting the time in is the hard part but necessary to reap the rewards. This idea keeps coming up this week as my mind bounces around, discovering what I want to do, sweeping away the layers of cobwebs that cover my purpose in this life. I know that I live like this a bit, wanting to eat dinner when I first wake up, too eager for what is to come rather than enjoying the moment, the light of the morning, the feeling of leaving dreamworld.
It is alright to have an image of where you want to go, seeing yourself at your epitome. But when this image trumps what you have in the present, that is trouble and only leaves you sitting unable to move forward, frozen by the overwhelmingness of it all. Goals. Setting goals. Making baby steps that work towards those goals. Celebrating when I make it to the first step. The second. The third and the fourth.
I talked to a great friend today and for the first time, as I told her what I am doing with my life in this moment (semi-jobless), I felt proud of the big step that I took to get here. Not shame or guilt or remorse, no feelings like, who am I to think that I can do this?
I discovered a book at the newly reopened library the other day (how I missed this building for the two weeks it was closed) by Rick Hanson called Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. He has listed 52 practices that guide you towards a "buddha brain" and therefore, a better way of living. A background in neuropsychology, Hanson approaches Buddhism with a scientific slant, recognizing that we have the power, through practice, to change the neural pathways in our mind. Our stories don't have to be our stories. I have decided to read a practice every week, working on that insight throughout the week and keeping it present as the days pass. This week the message is Be For Yourself (because that means that then you can be there for others in your life).
Namaste.
It is alright to have an image of where you want to go, seeing yourself at your epitome. But when this image trumps what you have in the present, that is trouble and only leaves you sitting unable to move forward, frozen by the overwhelmingness of it all. Goals. Setting goals. Making baby steps that work towards those goals. Celebrating when I make it to the first step. The second. The third and the fourth.
I talked to a great friend today and for the first time, as I told her what I am doing with my life in this moment (semi-jobless), I felt proud of the big step that I took to get here. Not shame or guilt or remorse, no feelings like, who am I to think that I can do this?
I discovered a book at the newly reopened library the other day (how I missed this building for the two weeks it was closed) by Rick Hanson called Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. He has listed 52 practices that guide you towards a "buddha brain" and therefore, a better way of living. A background in neuropsychology, Hanson approaches Buddhism with a scientific slant, recognizing that we have the power, through practice, to change the neural pathways in our mind. Our stories don't have to be our stories. I have decided to read a practice every week, working on that insight throughout the week and keeping it present as the days pass. This week the message is Be For Yourself (because that means that then you can be there for others in your life).
Namaste.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Yes, Yes, Yes!
What if you could unleash everything great in your life?
Oprah is a pretty remarkable woman. She has developed a Lifeclass that she is taking all over the nation, broadcasting it on her TV channel and streaming it on the web. Trying to inspire many to overcome obstacles, face their fears, live their best lives. Last week she welcomed Tony Robbins, inspirational life coach who has made it big, who talked about overcoming fear, a perfect topic for me at this place in my life. Although a bit tacky at times, a little cheeseball ( he has clients yell out Yes, Yes, Yes loudly to motivate themselves), Robbins had some nuggets to share that have stayed with me over the past week.
Firstly, he talked about the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves. How these are often constructed from childhood, how they bear no factual evidence in regards to who we are. How we need to divorce the stories that don't serve us and create stories that do reflect our true nature. We repeat our stories, good and bad, enough times until we believe them and make them part of us.
Robbins went on to talk about massive action, living out the positive stories of ourselves through body language, the way we hold ourselves, the words we choose to speak. Find the part of yourself that is fearless and act it out, give that state of self a name and summon it out when you choose. It is how we carry ourselves.
Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Our lives will be smaller by not walking through fear; by challenging ourselves to act we grow and our capacity for love blossoms. Even in small ways, small steps, moving forward reaps amazing abundance.
I like the idea of speaking to oneself in a positive voice, making a persona within (because we all have one) that lives, breathes and oozes confidence. I know that there are many stories that I have created that don't necessarily have to be true except that I make them so. That I am the shy, quiet girl unable to have a voice. That I am driftless and not a hard worker. That I don't make art regularly enough so I can't be an "artist". The lists continues. There are positive stories too, but somehow those always seem to get rather lost in the pile. Divorce those that do not serve you. There is neuroscience research that speaks to this, our ability to change our thought patterns, to coax and teach them to form new pathways that make our life richer and less degrading.
If I could unleash everything great in my life, each day, each moment, would feel like an utter gift.
Oprah is a pretty remarkable woman. She has developed a Lifeclass that she is taking all over the nation, broadcasting it on her TV channel and streaming it on the web. Trying to inspire many to overcome obstacles, face their fears, live their best lives. Last week she welcomed Tony Robbins, inspirational life coach who has made it big, who talked about overcoming fear, a perfect topic for me at this place in my life. Although a bit tacky at times, a little cheeseball ( he has clients yell out Yes, Yes, Yes loudly to motivate themselves), Robbins had some nuggets to share that have stayed with me over the past week.
Firstly, he talked about the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves. How these are often constructed from childhood, how they bear no factual evidence in regards to who we are. How we need to divorce the stories that don't serve us and create stories that do reflect our true nature. We repeat our stories, good and bad, enough times until we believe them and make them part of us.
Robbins went on to talk about massive action, living out the positive stories of ourselves through body language, the way we hold ourselves, the words we choose to speak. Find the part of yourself that is fearless and act it out, give that state of self a name and summon it out when you choose. It is how we carry ourselves.
Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Our lives will be smaller by not walking through fear; by challenging ourselves to act we grow and our capacity for love blossoms. Even in small ways, small steps, moving forward reaps amazing abundance.
I like the idea of speaking to oneself in a positive voice, making a persona within (because we all have one) that lives, breathes and oozes confidence. I know that there are many stories that I have created that don't necessarily have to be true except that I make them so. That I am the shy, quiet girl unable to have a voice. That I am driftless and not a hard worker. That I don't make art regularly enough so I can't be an "artist". The lists continues. There are positive stories too, but somehow those always seem to get rather lost in the pile. Divorce those that do not serve you. There is neuroscience research that speaks to this, our ability to change our thought patterns, to coax and teach them to form new pathways that make our life richer and less degrading.
If I could unleash everything great in my life, each day, each moment, would feel like an utter gift.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Creative Journey
Two months I ventured out on a new path.
I left behind my job, the comforts of structure, comeraditity, and a paycheck and took a step in a previously unexplored direction. The support of my friends, my husband, my parents has been immense, but gaining the support of myself has been difficult and a true challenge that will probably last many, many years, if not my lifetime. It is easy to let the small voices of doubt and fear be loud in your ear, sometimes letting their messages overshadow what the heart is telling you to do.
In this time, I have dived into books about the creative process and about fear and how to overcome it and signed up for online webinars which revolve around the idea of following your heart and getting out of your own way in order to make your dreams a reality. All this work that I have been doing is internal, not much to show for it on the outside, but I can feel an inside shift, which is where it all has to start anyway. Some days it has been overwhelming, to the point where too much self-help makes me feel like I am drowning, which is pointless. So, I want to use my blog as a way to purge, so that my head stays above the water and the ideas that I am learning sink in and are beneficial instead of just being thrown into a disorganized pile.
I am going to record insights from authors and online instructors that I am finding inspirational, as a way to dive into their theories and messages deeper and record them for future reference and reminder.
I left behind my job, the comforts of structure, comeraditity, and a paycheck and took a step in a previously unexplored direction. The support of my friends, my husband, my parents has been immense, but gaining the support of myself has been difficult and a true challenge that will probably last many, many years, if not my lifetime. It is easy to let the small voices of doubt and fear be loud in your ear, sometimes letting their messages overshadow what the heart is telling you to do.
In this time, I have dived into books about the creative process and about fear and how to overcome it and signed up for online webinars which revolve around the idea of following your heart and getting out of your own way in order to make your dreams a reality. All this work that I have been doing is internal, not much to show for it on the outside, but I can feel an inside shift, which is where it all has to start anyway. Some days it has been overwhelming, to the point where too much self-help makes me feel like I am drowning, which is pointless. So, I want to use my blog as a way to purge, so that my head stays above the water and the ideas that I am learning sink in and are beneficial instead of just being thrown into a disorganized pile.
I am going to record insights from authors and online instructors that I am finding inspirational, as a way to dive into their theories and messages deeper and record them for future reference and reminder.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Full Moon Inspiration
Today was a good day.
Motivation to travel over snow-covered hills (and mountains) to get to Idaho Falls.
The smiles of two brown-eyed dogs in the backseat, happy to just be along despite the dismal destination point.
Success and decision-making in IF, resulting in a new couch that we scored for a major bargain!
Running around with dogs in the parking lot, while the cold wind whipped our faces.
Hanging out with one of my best friends (who just happens to be my love too).
Mergansers, ospreys, bluebirds on the dike.
A delicious dinner, while eyeing our new couch, and then collapsing into it. Finally a soft place to sit in the house!
The full moon rising, with the clouds dissipating around it to reveal its full glow.
A great day of accomplishment, hope, laughter, and beauty, despite the snow and cold.
Motivation to travel over snow-covered hills (and mountains) to get to Idaho Falls.
The smiles of two brown-eyed dogs in the backseat, happy to just be along despite the dismal destination point.
Success and decision-making in IF, resulting in a new couch that we scored for a major bargain!
Running around with dogs in the parking lot, while the cold wind whipped our faces.
Hanging out with one of my best friends (who just happens to be my love too).
Mergansers, ospreys, bluebirds on the dike.
A delicious dinner, while eyeing our new couch, and then collapsing into it. Finally a soft place to sit in the house!
The full moon rising, with the clouds dissipating around it to reveal its full glow.
A great day of accomplishment, hope, laughter, and beauty, despite the snow and cold.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Click!
 |
An excitement for today was the birdies that visited my feeder. They had been avoiding it it seemed, but this morning, chirping away, there were four or five of them eating birdseed in my yard. One was a crossbill I believe. Turning into such a birder...
Tomorrow is Monday. A new week of a new week. Full of promise.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Gallim, waves in Hebrew...
This past weekend Dancers' Workshop presented Gallim Dance from NYC. The young company's performance of their piece Blush has stayed with me into this week, images from the the evening-length work popping into my head from time to time. The freshness, the newness, the intensity and emotion was all so welcome and needed and embraced. This company's work spoke to me, told me to stop being so fearful and just go for it, that anything goes, that following emotion and feeling is not a bad impulse....It was quite forceful. There was nothing sweet or even traditionally beautiful about Blush and that is why it was one of my favorite dance pieces that I have ever seen.
It also made me want to choreograph something. And start dancing again. Oh, if only I hadn't stopped taking modern dance when I was five years old with Judy Davis! :)
Thursday, January 5, 2012
5 Gratefuls
I feel like it is time that I recorded some gratefuls....my small list for today.
1. Tired, I dragged myself to workout and felt amazing afterward
2. Hanging out with Robin, being movers of Snow White props. The moving wasn't so fun, the company was.
3. The library. It really is one of my favorite places to discover.
4. IMing with one of my best friends, hearing about her adventures in France, finding out her big news.
5. Climbing with Julia, who I haven't seen for a while. Laughing and encouraging.
Oh, and the sunset was amazing tonight. Olive and I set out for a 4:30pm walk along the elk refuge (the days are getting longer. I felt it today for the first time) and the clouds on the horizon were pink and purple striped. The sky just kept changing to more dramatic and jaw-dropping colors and shapes. Dark purple clouds against a light pink sky, the wind tossing it all around. Now the moon is out and everything is lit. And it is not even close to full! This is going to be a great week.....
1. Tired, I dragged myself to workout and felt amazing afterward
2. Hanging out with Robin, being movers of Snow White props. The moving wasn't so fun, the company was.
3. The library. It really is one of my favorite places to discover.
4. IMing with one of my best friends, hearing about her adventures in France, finding out her big news.
5. Climbing with Julia, who I haven't seen for a while. Laughing and encouraging.
Oh, and the sunset was amazing tonight. Olive and I set out for a 4:30pm walk along the elk refuge (the days are getting longer. I felt it today for the first time) and the clouds on the horizon were pink and purple striped. The sky just kept changing to more dramatic and jaw-dropping colors and shapes. Dark purple clouds against a light pink sky, the wind tossing it all around. Now the moon is out and everything is lit. And it is not even close to full! This is going to be a great week.....
Monday, January 2, 2012
Silent Night
There is something so delicious about having the house to yourself. Especially when you make it warm and cozy with a crackling fire, eat only a salad for dinner, and read magazines to your hearts content. Nothing but the occasional sigh or nuzzle from the dog. I love spending time with Jamie, and we can easily sit in silence with one another. But the silence of being alone is something completely different. It is as if all your guards, all your receptors, all your senses can just be a little more quiet.
Olive and I took a walk today as the sun set. The air got chillier and chillier as the light dimmed. Olive, oblivious to the cold, chewing on sticks like bubble gum. Me, being conscious of where I stepped in the packed down, slightly icy snow and keeping one eye out for deer and moose, ideally before my four-legged friend spotted them. That happened tonight. The buck saw me and I saw him, and we were both spared the obnoxious barking and disobedience of my little dog.
Been thinking a lot of about dogs the last day, ever since I got the text from Robin that Elly had passed in the night. Yesterday, watching Olive's excitement that never wans when the skis come out, holding on to those moments when her pure joy feeds into my blood infectiously and makes me smile right along with her. Doggies give so much. So much. And even in the moments when I scream at Olive in frustration, I have already forgiven her just because of who she is. That is one of the beauties of owning a dog- to practice easy forgiveness.
Peace to Elly dog. May you run fast, sniff often, and find many balls along your trails.
Olive and I took a walk today as the sun set. The air got chillier and chillier as the light dimmed. Olive, oblivious to the cold, chewing on sticks like bubble gum. Me, being conscious of where I stepped in the packed down, slightly icy snow and keeping one eye out for deer and moose, ideally before my four-legged friend spotted them. That happened tonight. The buck saw me and I saw him, and we were both spared the obnoxious barking and disobedience of my little dog.
Been thinking a lot of about dogs the last day, ever since I got the text from Robin that Elly had passed in the night. Yesterday, watching Olive's excitement that never wans when the skis come out, holding on to those moments when her pure joy feeds into my blood infectiously and makes me smile right along with her. Doggies give so much. So much. And even in the moments when I scream at Olive in frustration, I have already forgiven her just because of who she is. That is one of the beauties of owning a dog- to practice easy forgiveness.
Peace to Elly dog. May you run fast, sniff often, and find many balls along your trails.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Journey
I found this poem when I googled "the journey". I was looking for a
book that Claire was telling me about, but it seemed appropriate to
stumble upon this poem by Mary Oliver. I have read it before and I love
it.
The
Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)