Sitting

It was dark except for a candle in the middle of the circle of mats and cushions. The whir of a fan was the only noise besides the settling in of sitters around me. Warm, comforting, a space filled with yellow light. The gong sounded and then we sat, adjusting into our own breath, a cycle of inhales and exhales that are uniquely our own.

I was surprised when the gong sounded after 45 minutes. The time has gone so quickly. It had been a challenge at times to not let my mind wander; I had gone from worrying that my cell phone was not off, feeling the ache in my spine as I tried to sit up straight, and sensing my body sway as I sat in some realm between awake and asleep.

I loved that no words needed to be spoken. That a group of fifteen people came to sit together in a warm room, faces that looked familiar from the community. I left with J without saying anything until we were out of the room, back in the snowy night.

Great peace. A wonderful way to start out the weekend.

Letting the Tension Go...

Today I got a massage from my amazingly talented friend A, who helped release my tight pecs and shoulders. Her fingers are like magic and she knows so much about the body, the connections. It is a great time to turn inside, to realize through breathe and relaxation and quieting the mind, that  I can make some of the pain go away, that I can help A as she massages my muscles.

Next time I need to sit quietly before I go in for my massage. I need to work on slowing down my ever-racing mind and release the tension that seems to enjoy residing in my neck before I lie on the table; I need to play a more participatory role in my massages. Massages are about relaxation, but they are not about going in and expecting your masseuse to solve everything.

I have realized through working with A that massages can go deeper, literally and figuratively, that they are more than just letting someone rub your muscles. They are a time to be present, to show up, and to do some hard work. And have amazing results at the end...

The Day

Priceless days: you are walking on air, the whole world around you gleams golden, you say the right things, you laugh a lot, you feel great in the outfit you put on in the morning, you feel so full that you could burst, work goes smoothly and is fun, your interactions with strangers are filled with kindness and smiles, your dog listens to your every word, your boy wants to cuddle, your dinner turns out fabulously, your wine is perfect on your tongue, and you catch the sunset which makes everything glow.

Hold this day into tomorrow.

In the 30's...

Last night I had an interesting experience. I felt old. But not in a negative way. In a confident and clear way. I wasn't in my twenties anymore, I wasn't the one looking up (although I still do to many), and I didn't feel out of place or inexperienced. I felt like I was part of the Jackson community, someone in the art community who has something worthwhile to say. I liked the feeling, although it was odd to suddenly find myself in that role of mentor. I hadn't realized I had become that. But I guess I have also recognized that I am not a 24 year old, fresh to Jackson, either.

This post goes out to the amazing 30 year olds I met when I first moved to the valley, women who are still so dear to me. J and J and A....inspiring.  I only hope that I can be such a role model as all of them were to me.

post office ladies

It is a growing relationship, one that started with me saying the name on the name tag or them commenting on my scarf or the Pearl St. Bagel coffee in my hand. A tentative hello with some recognition, but not quite care enough to show that recognition whole-heartedly. A softness though, a different greeting than other people standing in line, waiting for stamps or their over-large packages, might receive.  A greeting with some degree of familiarity.

It is fascinating to me that these are women that I see every morning, that I have for almost six years, and we are only starting to begin a more personal dialogue.  It isn't that any of us are unfriendly or rude, just that that is the game played at the P.O. There is more humanness in our interactions now and a genuine caring about our conversation. One used my name the other day, referenced from a package I was picking up, starling me.  A big step forward.

They are always friendly, they get stressed out but only for good reason, and they do their jobs well. I hope our game continues.

What spending all day outside and watching Meryl Streep can do for the soul...

Pushing myself around the track, I was struck at how long it has been since I have spent a full day outside. Probably since climbing season. I had forgotten how your body adapts to the elements (helpful when you have layers to take on and off) and how wonderful it feels to be surrounded by blue sky, towering peaks, and sunshine-filled air. A fullness, yet also a lightness, occurs.

R and I did a women's skate skiing clinic today at the Village. It has made me eager for more, to get better and better, and be able to adopt this sport as part of my winter routine. A mix of hard work and, when you get good, an effortless grace. Could you ask for more in a sport? Nine to four and although my body was ready to sit, my mind was still racing to skate.

It's Complicated=A fun movie. And I got to see it with a great guy. E is always game for the same films I am, as long as they have got a good review, and our taste very rarely differs. Meryl Streep is one of my favorite actresses....I have watched two movies of hers in the past week and I just can't get enough of her. Her diversity, her strength, how her age has only made her more beautiful.

What a nice full day...Couldn't have asked for a much better one.

31

No photos, not much hype, just a normal day with phone calls and emails from and conversations with the amazing people that make up my life. What a full life. I am lucky. 31 years. Amazing how fast time goes...