Grey Day

I got to start the day talking to my amazing parents. I love talking to them, and wish that it didn't have to be over a phone. I am excited to start skyping with them soon, so at least I can see them, despite being miles apart. Where they are in Florida sounds so amazing, and the 85 degree temps are more than tempting on a grey Wyoming day.

My day was ho-hum, sort of mirroring the weather outside which was so sunless and cold. I am feeling the itch to leave Jackson for a while, to pop the bubble and escape, just somewhere different. It is comforting living in a place where you see the same sights, the familiar faces, take the day to day paths, but also very closeting and repetitive.

I climbed with a great group of ladies tonight. I felt strong and was able to make it up some more challenging climbs. It felt great to stretch and lengthen on the gym walls, while also getting my muscles pumping with blood.

Babs just called me from her residency in Gillette. She has the idea, for her birthday, of getting a group of artists together and having them make different fashion challenges every two weeks. At the end of the event, we will display the pieces in a fashion show.....It will be called Runaway Projects (a total play on Project Runway). And it sounds like excellent fun.

Nice visions to go to sleep to.....xoxox

Riches

I had a day when I wished I was independently wealthy, yet also quite happy with the riches of my life that are not monetary. The independently wealthy aspect was in regards to my job, wishing that I didn't have to work in order to live. And the riches in my life were in regards to my parents, my friends, my husband, and my dog. I wonder if I really would explore all of the activities and places I think I would if making money wasn't a necessity....Would my life be as diverse and as purposeful? I think partly I am just coming down off of the high of a really fun week. This often happens after a dance company leaves. The reality of the work that was neglected to make room for the socializing and running around raises its furry head and asks for attention.

I just got back from my book group. We read The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing. Up to now we had read what we all categorized as "pleasant" reads, nothing really too challenging. This book was not that. It showcases four different fetishes, four different desires that are not normalized in our society. Quite fascinating to explore the realms of sexuality....made me feel like I was back at Smith. This group of women that I meet with monthly is fantastic. They make me laugh and make me think.

Time for bed. A tummy full of Thai food and my new book beckoning. xoxo

Long time...

Been a long time since I have written. A whirlwind week of late dinners out, exquisite dancers with amazing bodies and personalities to match, lifting, laying marley floor, running errand after errand, smiling a lot, long nights and early mornings, inspiration, art everywhere. Alonzo King Lines Ballet is extraordinary. If you ever, ever have the opportunity to see them, do. The company is more than just talented dancers and a creative choreographer. There is something that speaks to the heart when they dance, something pure art that springs forth.

Today was a great day. I worked my legs and lungs up Mt. Glory to ski with my boy and my dog. My favorite combo. Amazing new snow, the feeling of gliding down, the lightness of the white, my growing aggressiveness with my turns. I worked from home today, and got a great deal done. Feels great to be productive. Yoga tonight made my body hum with warmth and my hips feel the most open they have in weeks.

My friend Carrie had to put her dog down today. I got her text and immediately feel into Olive with tears dripping on her fur. She licked my face with big open, brown eyes. I told her I treasure every moment that we can climb Mt. Glory together, that I can see her run, that she snuggles with me. I will be a mess. An utter, absolute mess when my day comes to let Olive enter her next life.

But for now I have a healthy pup lying next to me. And a very diverse and inspiring day behind me.

Studio Nerves

Today I fell nervous about my impending and drawn out move into this studio space of mine. I feel like my time gets eaten away by my work, my work that pays, and today I was just sensitively aware of how my attention gets directed. And how I will have to shift my priorities once I am in my studio. It is a good first step to get rid of my CCJH job, but Dancers' Workshop will also have to lessen in its demand. Or I will have to step back from the hold it has over me and my days. That is probably more of the case.

I am more on edge this week about this new venture I am on. A space of my own that I pay for and that is surrounded by other artists. I have all of these ideas that are in my head, not on paper, and I look at artists online and dream about a life of art-making. Harder to say than do. And I don't want to have expectations of myself that fall flat. The balance between not having too high of expectations and pushing oneself towards goals is a hard one for me. I already feel this need to be down there, painting the walls and moving my stuff in. Today I feel a little bit like I have to prove that I deserve to have a space, like others are watching to see if it really was meant for me....

Day

Winter is back. I woke up to wind pounding snow against my window, the morning sky that inky blue that glows with the rising sun. My bed was particularly comforting today because of the weather, and I proceeded to not only have my green tea under the comforter, but my bowl of cereal as well. And then I worked for an hour, Olive never raising her head to ask for a walk. She skied hard all weekend.

The hustle and bustle of DW is endless. I feel lucky that I like everyone that I work with, that amidst the scrambling to get everything done there are moments of laughter and chatting and smiles. I feel refreshed knowing that I am making the decision to only have one job (maybe I will count art-making as a job at times), as if that choice brings clarity to the other work at hand. As much as I may bitch, I am quite lucky, a fact I only seem to notice more and more.

Walking Olive in the dusk. Her eager jumping for joy at being free of the basement, Jamie and I huddled against the wind. I was reminded today, as I told Olive that we would take a walk later and her little ears poked up, that dogs only exist in the present. That the future means nothing to her. I want to remind myself of that more often.