Beautiful Aspects of an Otherwise Tiring Day

1. How the birds didn't seem to mind that snow was falling. They chirped as loud as could be this morning on our walk, flying in flocks in front of the car, creating a pattern of bird in air in movement.
2. The smell of homemade toasted granola in the kitchen (and in my hair until I took a shower).
3. Laughing. Remembering to laugh. Liking that laughter is so much a part of who I am.
4. Robin. Not a bird, but a good person and friend.
5. Seeing this town that I live in through the eyes of visitors, and how proud I am of where I live. For its beauty, its culture, its awareness, and its cleanliness.
6. My dogs white, fluffy tummy and the fact that she showed it to me obligingly and eagerly.
7. My glass of wine. The one thing I seem to have gone back to without fail after my cleanse. Coffee, no. Dairy, no except 1/2 and 1/2. Wine, yes and gladly....
8. Missing my boy; feeling glad that I miss him.
9. Community radio and how its diversity, humanness, and thoughtfulness constantly amazes me.
10. And although I am not loving the recent weather, there is something beautiful about sunshine seen through a cloud of falling snow.

Whodunit 2010

As promised to my mom, I took photos of my Whodunit piece. 

Whodunit is a show that the Art Association hosts every two years. They send out 6x6 canvas to artists, allowing them to work within that dimension however is desired. Sign the back, turn the finished art in, and all the work gets hung, nameless, on a wall. It is a visually pleasing show; a ribbon of colorful and diverse canvas snaking around the gallery space. All the work is $99 and show attendees put their name on a list next to their favorite pieces. At the end of the night, a name gets drawn from the list, and that person is the recipient of a Whodunit piece. And they get to see who the artist is--someone famous, someone almost famous, an emerging artist!

I easily forget how peaceful and meditative it is to sit and shape pods. They really are so soothing to make and each one, although fashioned in the same way, comes out so differently, which I love. I need to make more. 

Friendships

I am thinking about friendships tonight. About how there can be so many different kinds in ones life. How some flow in and out like the tide, how some are based on laughter and jokes, others on dreams and deep secrets, and how some just come to a gentle end. Interactions with others are so important, give us strength and assuredness, love and guidance.

There are some friends that are forever. The ones who you might not be near to for days, months, years, yet your conversations are as fresh and comfortable as well loved stretchy pants. Those are the soulmate friends, the people who will always know you, who will always be the ones you turn to in times of struggle or joy. The sisters or brothers.

I am realizing that some friends come into your life when you need them, but maybe recede some as one of you take a new path, explore a new road. And that that isn't a bad friendship, but just one that was invaluable for a certain period, who made your life full and rich within an exact time frame. Like anything, it is best to not hold on with too much preciousness.

Friendships that involve going out, involve walking your dog, climbing a rock wall or any other form of exercise, friendships that are played out as a series of jokes, and friendships that involve finding designer bargains at thrift stores. Friendships that are based on a love for all things artistic or for the noticing of the natural world during a sunset or a snow storm. Our friends and acquaintances form such a unique quilt for our lives, all sections that come together to make a whole, a whole that keeps growing as life moves forward.

I am feeling so full of friends tonight, so blessed and fortunate, while also paying homage to those friendships whose flames have dimmed somewhat.

Three Months to go...

It is hard to believe that almost a year ago Jamie purposed to me on a California beach. This past year has got to be one of the quickest of my life. It is almost like a sick joke that time has played on me, mocking me for being a lackadaisical planner, for not being a bride that has known from birth what colors her wedding would be.

And suddenly the day is three months away. This weekend I went from being sad and nervous to excited and confident. The roller coaster that keeps this engagement period interesting, as if playing up my already slightly sensitive personality, where emotional ups and downs are a regular occurrence. I avoid The Knot emails that tell me the countdown to July 24 and show me the list of to-do's that are not checked off.

It was my parents and my best friend who made my sadness and nervousness turn to excitement and confidence. This day is just a day. What is really important is that I am taking this step with a man that I adore, with whom I will keep experiencing joys as well as sorrows. Marriage isn't about the wedding day, and I will have family and friends there who will serve as witnesses to this fact that our union is a voyage into the crazy, exciting unknown future.

Onwards....

My Champion

My dog is a champion. In my eyes anyway.
We have started going back to agility class. And Olive remembers everything. She knows to take the teeter-totter slowly, remembers how her body glides side to side amongst the weave poles, and focuses on me 110%.
Like many things, it is the human who needs to catch up.
I have forgotten how much fun working with your dog is. We have a different relationship when we are at the Fair Grounds, both more in tune with each other perhaps.
Tonight was the highlight of my night. Amazing how often the highlights of my day involve my dog...

Good Things

Swans highlighted by rising morning sunshine.
Homemade granola with nutmeg and golden raisons.
Sweat dripping down my nose.
Dog kisses.
Wholesome salad goodness.
Warm breezes allowing bared arms.
Snuggles.
Looking at other artists and picturing my own art.
Soft, fleece sheets.

Good night.

Tree Song

Yesterday the highlight of my day happened unexpectedly.

Olive and I went for a quick walk up a snowy Hagen Trail, Olive frolicking in the new snow, running ahead only to speed back to bounce around me before taking off again.

We had to turn around early because of a dinner date with A & M. We happened to stop on the top of a hill. Suddenly, the trees were singing to us. Creaking and groaning, high pitched and low pitched, a melody of sorts was played out in the quiet of the forest. And Olive and I were there to listen.

In these moments, when unusual and interesting sounds abound, I wish that I carried a recorder. I have never done a sound art piece, but have always been interested in doing so. Creating an experience both visually and aurally...

Feeling Rock Again

On Saturday morning we woke up early, filled the camper fridge, loaded an anxious Olive into the truck, and made our way to Lander. It was my first time climbing outside this year, a position that always makes me a little nervous as well as more than excited. There is no comparison between climbing in the gym and feeling plastic under your fingers to scaling a problem up a wall of stone, your pads slowly becoming toughened by the reality of rock. The sun was warm, enough to wear the flip-flops.

What I love about climbing is that everything else melts away. More than any other sport, the details of life take a back seat when you are tied into the end of a rope. All attention has to be on the project at hand; a wonderful opportunity to be completely in the moment.

I did a good job of not letting my head interfere, as it sometimes does. I haven't been training in the gym, climbing is not the highest priority in my life on a weekly-basis, and I am where I am with the sport. It was about being there with J, enjoying his company and the company of R & K, who happened to also be there.

A wonderful weekend....with more to come!

Powder Skiing in April

Our biggest storms of the year are occurring now. Close to five feet in 10 days.
Jamie and I went out yesterday afternoon, after the crowds had died down and we had both gotten some working hours in, and skinned south of Mt. Glory. We saw two snowboarders, who we passed, and then we had the path and forest to ourselves. Such a magical time to be outside in the mountains, the light slowly waning and casting shadows. Because it is spring, the snow was light in places and heavy in others, conditions that made it rough for little dog. But she likes a challenge.

Sleepless in Snowy Jackson

There have been certain nights this past week when I put down Reading Lolita in Tehran (my current read), turn off the light, roll over onto my side, and my mind starts racing. These are the nights that I know I will have to do battle with myself in order to enter dreamworld. Tonight I decided not to fight the thoughts and get up and be productive.

There are so many things to do. Always. Some fun, some not as much.

Tonight the list reads like this, in this order:

--Grant for CCJH to support Public Arts Coordinator position
--Americans for the Arts 2010 Symposium in June (that I really want to attend, but maybe can't afford)
--Wedding details like...invitations, music, men's clothes, decorations, lights, getting my dog to Maine (big one)....this list can go on, but I have seen it all before and don't want to see it here.
--Getting Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet tickets sold
--How I am going to be an Artist....which leads to...
--Should I go back to school? and....
--For a degree in art-making or art-administrating?

Maybe this slight purging will help.

Snowy Spring...Food Observations...Inspirations

I woke up to big, fat, juicy flakes of snow flying past the window. By the time I got up, three inches had accumulated on the ground and Olive was a polar bear when she returned from her morning routine. It made me feel the anxious, gotta-get-out-and-ski sensation that only living in Jackson can evoke on a regular basis. I also felt like I just wanted to stay in my PJ's, warm with a cup of tea. Spring snow doesn't stick around long though; by the afternoon most of the five inches had vanished.

I am on day six of my ten day cleanse. I have mixed feelings. It feels great to have a goal, to test my willpower, to know that everything I am putting into my body is good for me. I also feel regulated, hungry often, and slightly crazed at times with my obsession of what I am going to eat and when. It is an unsettling relationship with food, maybe because it is a foreign one. I will take with me from this adventure a better idea of what to reach for when I snack, how much to eat in a sitting, and perhaps a little less coffee. What I want to consume next weekend, when I am through, is: chai tea with milk and honey, granola and yogurt, a piece of local made bread with butter, a hamburger (!), and a glass of red wine. Those are the things I miss the most...

My friend B sent out an art blog today, with an email that really struck me because it sounded like myself. It is often uncanny how B's thoughts about her artistic life are so parallel to mine. Not that our situations are unique. In fact, I would say most artists struggle with the creative process and with how to live an artistic life. Her blog and bravery made me smile though. Good job B!

Okay. Enough computer time for the day. I get lost in wedding blog world every evening it seems.

This is What My Brother Must Feel Like...

I am on day two of a cleanse, and I have to say, I am not as chipper as I was on day one. I get to eat at least; no liquid cleanse for me. Quinoa (no chicken broth), all the veggies I want, almost all the fruit I want (as long as I eat twice as many veggies), powdery supplement shakes, and one small, small square of dark chocolate. It will be good for me....it has already tested my willpower incredibly: the woman behind me in the tram line eating a chocolate-drizzled croissant; R and H eating french fries and washing them down with a freshly made cocktail at the swanky new venue Ignite (I had tea); and J eating a juicy, perfectly grilled buffalo burger in front of me as we watched Project Runway tonight.

It is interesting to have your day structured by food, to think twice about what goes into your mouth, to create something that you cannot taste, to be more thoughtful perhaps. Already I have realized how much I snack, not always on bad things, but out of boredom. I don't think that I would like leading such a highly disciplined life all of the time; I love my butter and red wine and making homemade granola and eating a bowl of it while it is still hot, crackling in the cold milk. But there are good lessons in these ten days, about awareness and consideration and relishing the taste of simple foods....

I hope that I don't end up disliking quinoa in the end though.