Art Opening

My art opening a week ago today...What a wonderful mixture of friends. I am so excited to dive into new paintings, happy with myself that I was able to accomplish this show and hang it up in such a lovely and kind little coffeehouse.

Hung!

Show is up and it feels good. On to the next show (wherever that may be!)

Studio Day

Worked in the studio again yesterday....love exploring the landscapes in my head. It is feeling good to work big and just diving into the paint, seeing what appears on the canvas. I like this shift, this attention to the need to be in the studio, the importance given to creativity in my life. It makes me excited about what is to come, while relishing in the moments that are created through brush, color, shape, and texture.

Day

This morning Olive looked like a dragon, with steam rising all around her as the cold air hit her warm dog body. We hiked up Putt-Putt, me willing the sun to crest the hill and shed some warmth, Olive cavorting in the words after the chattering squirrels. Been good squirrel hunting recently.

I am ready to not be asked so many questions daily, random inquiries that don't allow me to get my own work done. But then at the same time I am going to miss these women who make my life so interesting and laughter filled. I will have to remain a part of DW, not drop it out of my life completely. It is too amazing a place.

This evening I played with Babs. That is what we are going to go do with kids in Big Piney and Pinedale. Go play and explore with them through art-making. Can't think of anything better...It made my night.

Studio Day

So happy to be painting for most of the day.....It has brought a smile to my face. 

I love art. I love being any artist.

Halloween...last year

Halloween. I am feeling a bit old because it doesn't feel as fun as it did when I was five. Ten. Twenty-one. This is a photo from last year, but appropriate for the holiday. Next year, I am sure I will be more into it again :)

Boo in a Canoe

                                    There is really nothing to say....except absolutely adorable.

Grateful's for a Monday

I had a sort of blah Monday. So I need a dose of "Gratefuls".
1. The sliver of moon above Snow King this morning. You could see the entire outline of the moon against the inky, semi-light sky of dawn.
2. Barley and Olive playing on Putt-Putt, chasing each other like friends. I like to think about my dog having friends.
3. Working my core in Pilates and stretching my body.
4. The warm air today, the fact that I could walk around with my coat open.
5. Community Radio. I love going on the air, I love listening to the station, I love the people that work there.
6. Jamie. Just because he is the person he is. He makes me laugh and he listens to me.
7. The photos up at the National Museum of Wildlife Art. I escaped the crowds of the Old Bill's Reward Party, and wandered the photography exhibit by myself. Beautiful pictures of Antarctica and the wildlife and wildness that resides there.
8. And now, sleep.

Painting...

My day was full of painting...prepping boards with gesso and painting the walls of my upstairs home, a space that is just aching for us to move into it. I can't wait and the excitement makes the wall-painting bearable. It is amazing how far the upstairs has come, how it has transformed, and become a real grown-up home. It is hard to come down to the basement apartment. Soon we will ascend....


Another amazing fall day. The air was so warm. We were able to take the doggies hiking in t-shirts and I could have had shorts on easily. It is wonderful how long this warm fall has stretched and Jackson continues to get quieter and quieter as all of the tourists disappear and people escape for the off-season to go surfing in California or climbing in the desert. 


I worked in my studio today. Got some boards prepped for painting on this week and worked on my piece for the Exquisite Animal Show at the National Museum of Wildlife Art. Exquisite Corpse is a game popularized by the Surrealists in the early 20th century. Different artists are given a part of the animal body and when the parts come together, a fantastical creature emerges. Quite fun. .Exhttp://www.wildlifeart.org/Calendar/Exhibitions/#117

The Scared Crow

I agreed to do a scarecrow for an auction that the Public Art Initiative and the Center for the Arts is having on Friday, but could not get motivated to make a scarecrow. So I made a scared crow. And felt a great deal more inspired. 

His mouth is open in fear and his feathers (golf tees) are standing up! It happened that there was a Nature program about crows on yesterday evening. I have yet to watch, but the previews looked good.

http://video.pbs.org/video/1621910826/

Coming Back to This

It is time to return to the blog world and make this a better, more consistent site....with more photos and drawings and such. With more time on my horizon, it is a goal to make this a stronger part of my life, a place where I can both share and create, and which motivates me forward. For now, I will try to just be regular. That is a good start.

Grateful...

1. For three big stacks of firewood on our front porch, whispering that winter will be warm in our little house.
2. For good parents, mine and Jamie's.
3. That my mom was able to be with my grandmother when she died late last week. Feeling so fortunate to have the mother that I do.
4. For all of Jamie's hard work on our house.
5. For harvested vegetables, the freshness and intense taste of local broccoli, beets, and potatoes.
6. For our little garden's first year of goodness.
7. For the privilege to have the choice to leave my job.
8. For dog kisses.
9. For autumn colors against snow-dusted hills.
10. For my Dad's recommendation to check out Carla Hannaford

Hooray!

A warm Sunday evening and the big moon is about to rise. It is blissful to have it summer, to have great heat during the day and a comfortable temperature at night that requires only a light long-sleeve shirt. I am trying to eat it up as much as possible, soak the sunniness into my bones, storing up for the next season when the wind changes and a chill is in the air.

A weekend of music....a trip over the hill to Grand Targhee Resort for their annual Targhee Festival. It felt like a mini-vacation. And what a line up of music...the electrifying energy of Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, the constant sexiness of Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, the political grittiness of James McMurty, and the upbeat fun-ness of Michael Franti & Spearhead. There is something about this festival that is so joyful. Not just the music, but the people that come-families galore, friendly smiling faces, a feeling of togetherness in the joy of good sounds and beats.

Feathered Friends

Today my neighbor gave me a bird feeder as a house-warming gift, even though we have lived next to her for almost six years. She saw it and thought of me because it is arty and, because we have had conversations about all of the birds that populate her feeders on her back porch. Moving to the basement has allowed us to utilize the wonderful south-facing patio and it looks directly at their porch, and therefore, all of the birds that come to enjoy her feeders. Very thoughtful of Julie. Already the birds have found the new feeder and there are Juncos, a White-Capped Sparrow and Purple Finches in my yard. It is somewhat addicting to stand and watch them battle over the bird seed, the peaceful Juncos scavenging on the ground for the remnants dropped. Birds are such amazing little creatures.

The rain continues here. Olive and I hiked in mostly sunshine today, a small squall of hail hitting us for about five minutes. I also got to dig in my soon-to-be garden, getting it ready for the soil that is to come later this week. Little pockets of time to be outside, watching the rolling grey clouds cover the sun and knowing it is time to escape to the inside.

Summer will come one day.

Breathing

My breathe felt like silk by the end of yoga tonight. Like richness, like the softness of confectionary sugar. Bringing attention continually back to the breathe, to the in and out of the ocean inside, to the one companion that is always with me on my journey. My Monday night yoga ritual has really become a love, an event that starts my week off right and something I look forward to. I have noticed, ever since starting, that I am allowing myself to move a little slower in my day to day life, to take little more time with the seemingly mundane. To be more respectful of who I am and what makes me tick.

It is really hard to have new people start working at Dancers' Workshop. There is great comfort in being the old-timer, the one who knows the ins and outs, but there is also staleness and it takes more effort to get fired up over the tasks that seem second nature. I left work on Friday trying to see my job with fresh, innovative eyes, with imagination and curiosity and perseverance. And new employees can inspire that in you, as well as leave you feeling a little boring in your routines. A little repetitive in your actions.

It will be so good to get away, to stretch beyond the buttes of this little valley. To see new people. And hear different languages. And to have no familiar routines but rather the spontaneity of travel. I have a feeling that it is going to do me so much good, in my head and my heart and my soul.

Details

It was damp and cold and grey and felt like Maine last night. And it was a welcome relief to go to yoga and relax into the warmth of the cozy room, to be able to shed both socks and shirts, as well as the tenseness that had resided in my body for most of the day. Yoga with Neesha is delicious, because she is wise and funny and really knows her Anusara yoga. We talked about self-love, about heart openers, about valuing the body we are given because it is such a gift to have life and be human. I thought about, and then let those thoughts go, how I often look at my body and wish I could change certain things. Or push it to perform on the ski slope, or the rock face, or the dirt trail. Instead, it is such a shrine to be honored for its uniqueness to me, for its ability to get me up in the morning, for me to see, hear, smell and touch, for it to allow me to think and feel and digest my food.

Olive and I often walk on the same trail everyday. My favorite time to be out is the morning because everything seems more still and magical. We had the trail all to ourselves this morning, as the wind was howling and wet spring snowflakes were flying. Spring brings a myriad of smells out of the ground that really mesmerize Olive, lead her to create roundabout trails as her nose directs her here and there and back again. I have become quite the seeker of wildlife, eager to spot the deer, the moose, the fox before my four-legged companion does. The herder in her sometimes overcomes the good dog in her, and it pains me to see her chase other animals. But with that seeking has come a deeper appreciation for the diversity of the trees, and the way a deer, when still, can blend perfectly into the forest. I notice little things, little changes that occur to branches and bushes, the sawdust from a woodpecker hole fresh on the new snow.

Drooling over the Haystack Mountain School of Crafts listings. One day I will get back to that magical place and make art again. Such a huge gift in high school. The workshop I would take would be with Joan Livingstone. I am loving her work. See it here www.joanlivingstone.com

There is just something about fiber....

Realness

Dancers' Workshop is on spring break and it has only been myself and my new co-worker Kim in the office. Everyone will slowly start to trickle in this week, including our new development director (who has replaced Robin), and the office will be abuzz again. The quiet is both welcome and also amazingly boring. I go through periods with this job when, in dramatic style, I feel like I am going to pass away from boredom. And then I get upset that I am spending my days, my time, feeling that way...I feel like the computer is sucking away my soul.

I have taken to reading to Olive in the morning. Along with singing my usual songs to her. I discovered Mark Nepo's book The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have. Oprah helped direct me to Nepo's book, one that gives a reading for each day of the year. I am finding the daily reads very inspirational and provoking, and I think that Olive is too.

From March 30, The Energy of Being Real

....He [Carl Jung] suggests that being who we are always releases an extraordinary power that, without intent or design, affects the people who come into contact with such realness. The beautiful and simple truth of this can be seen in looking at the sun. The sun, without intent or will or plan or sense of principle, just shines, thoroughly and constantly. By being itself, the sun warms with its light, never withholding or warming only certain things of the Earth. Rather, the sun emanates in all directions all of the time, and things grow. In the same way, when we are authentic, expressing our warmth and light in all directions we cause things around us to grow. When our souls like little suns express the light of who we are, we emanate what Jesus called love and what Buddha called compassion, and the roots of community lengthen....

Nepo is a poet as well as a writer, and has suffered two bouts with cancer, so he speaks from a well of deep feeling with poeticism.

It has been a weekend of being home with Jamie. The skiing is at its worse. We ventured up Snow King with our skis and skins, but watching others come down the icy, screeching slope only inspired us to climb half way. I picked my way down, Olive and Jamie racing ahead.

We are working on the upstairs of the house, and today, besides cleaning, has been my first real day up there lending a hand. Which makes me feel a little sheepish, but se la vie. Imagining what it is going to look like when it is done is exciting, and peeling back the layers of walls and floors bring small discoveries of the people who lived there in the past. Brown shag carpet, an old hair pin, ugly grey linoleum under the kitchen wood floor. I have been picking old carpet staples out of the floor, which sounds extremely exciting, but it has made me think about how no one will ever have to do this again in this house because there will be no more carpeting! My mind races ahead easily to the decorating part of the project, imagining colors and fixtures and rugs....

Time to return to the staples, although sitting here in front of our downstairs wood stove writing is really more delightful.

I Meant to Post Here on Monday...

...We keep eating dinner late (I blame it on the time change) and then everything in my life gets pushed back, overlapping with my-getting-ready-for-bed time (which makes me sound about four). And then blogging gets put aside for tomorrow, because I am too tired.

I am tired now, but also upset that writing is getting neglected. So here I am.

We booked our tickets for our honeymoon and last night settled on a place to stay in Paris. Five nights at a mid-range hotel that is within walking distance of the many, many sites and things to do. It is hard to be here now, in this moment, and not be floating in Paris land, with a croissant and a cafe in my hand. We will get our city fix and then fly to the lazy island life of Kalymnos, Greece (right above Rhodes Bryna), where we will get our climbing on stalactites on and our tans. It hasn't quite hit me that I get to leave this country soon. But it has hit me repeatedly that I haven't escaped to another culture since beloved NZ. That trend has to end, because I never pictured myself being someone that didn't travel, that didn't experience the newness and freshness of being away from America.

Meanwhile, the snow continues to fly. And unlike most, I am not, surprisingly, minding the white stuff. The skiing is still amazing, and I feel like I get better each time I click into my skis. Olive loves it, and whatever gives her joy seems to give me joy double fold. When I am in my day to day life, brushing off the car & dodging the slush puddle, it is not as fun for sure. But it is what it is.

Jamie, Olive and I walked this evening to the border of the elk refuge, by Putt Putt trail. Olive, walkless until then, was running circles around us, her energy pouring out of her. The Tetons were pink, all the new snow blanketing the peaks. At the fence border we saw a coyote, who watched us for a while and then slowly made his way into the woods, pausing to look at us occasionally, especially Olive. Olive was transfixed for a while, as if she knew it was some long lost relative, and not her normally spastic, barky self when it comes to spotting wildlife.

The last few pages of my book beckons, Great House by Nicole Krauss, the author who wrote The History of Love. A beautiful writer who takes words and weaves them into phrases that should be cliches, but just are not. I love her writing.

Peace and much love.

Daydreams of Warmth

What I am daydreaming about today....About a summer filled with climbing trips to places with red rocks, flowing streams, and open space for my dog to run. About working outside, doing a job that allows me to be in the sunshine and works my body. About being an artist and working in this space of mine daily, about seeing what happens when I commit to that. About traveling to Maine and seeing my family and the ocean, about having an art show with my parents. About finding a way to make my mark in my community in terms of advocating for artists of all ages and all abilities. About finishing my house with my husband and moving upstairs so that we can see the Grand and open the windows and feel the warm breeze of summer on our faces.

It is a grey day today. A cold, damp day. Spring is perhaps the hardest month here because everything is brown, the mud is everywhere, the skiing starts to be bad, and the trails are too slick to run on. I know that we will have more winter, but the days are starting to feel different, as if everything is awakening and stretching.

I am in my studio space. Working on a piece for the Art Assc. show that is due on Friday. Loving my pod shapes. Making them is so soothing to me, the same shape forming in my hands, but each one different in terms of how the needle catches the delicate cheesecloth.

Feeling so tired. The time change is really making it hard to get up in the morning and I almost feel like resorting to coffee again. Going to the climbing gym right now, climbing with good ladies. That will energize me for a while. And then I will crash tonight. Hopefully Jamie makes dinner :)

My Weekend

This weekend was so much better than the last one....Started with an early sneak-out-of-the-office on Friday afternoon into the sunshine. Jamie and I walked to the newly reopened Trio (it almost burned down last December when their pizza oven caught on fire) and had delicious blood orange margaritas and pizza. Slightly tipsy we made our way over to our friends house to play an impromptu game of Settlers of Catan, one of the best board games around at the moment. Quite fun, and Olive only attacked (ran at really) their cat once.

Saturday. Waking up alone and rousing myself to make it to a 9am workout at Augies. It was hard to get there, but as I saw the remnants of the previous nights drinks drip down my face as sweat, I felt glad and proud of myself for rallying. Came home and cleaned my house and then made my way down to the studio to work. Which felt good. It is starting to feel more cozy, thanks to things on the wall and a piece of carpet, that we tore up from our upstairs, on the floor. It is great to just go down there and have nothing to do by make art, to force myself to create, even if it is just doodling. I have been thinking a lot this weekend about why it is such a force to make art, that maybe I am making myself do something I really don't want to do. And that when I get excited about seeing artwork, maybe those feelings are telling me something different than, "make art, make art, make art"....maybe I am just supposed to be around art, around artists, around creativity. I don't think that this is necessarily true for me, but it does amaze me how much of a struggle it can be. Went out for a late dinner with my friend Jen (another dinner out!) and we had good laughs and words shared.

This morning I ventured in the misty mountains with Julia. We had an ambitious route chosen, and upon climbing a couple of thousand feet, decided that the fog was too thick to keep going up. So we took off our skins and skied down the crusty snow, grateful that it was firm enough to stay on top and not posthole. We saw no one all day, and the sun was out full force in the valley. We decided to go shopping. Now, I lie contentedly in bed after a team made dinner. And sleep is heavily on the mind.

Grey Day

I got to start the day talking to my amazing parents. I love talking to them, and wish that it didn't have to be over a phone. I am excited to start skyping with them soon, so at least I can see them, despite being miles apart. Where they are in Florida sounds so amazing, and the 85 degree temps are more than tempting on a grey Wyoming day.

My day was ho-hum, sort of mirroring the weather outside which was so sunless and cold. I am feeling the itch to leave Jackson for a while, to pop the bubble and escape, just somewhere different. It is comforting living in a place where you see the same sights, the familiar faces, take the day to day paths, but also very closeting and repetitive.

I climbed with a great group of ladies tonight. I felt strong and was able to make it up some more challenging climbs. It felt great to stretch and lengthen on the gym walls, while also getting my muscles pumping with blood.

Babs just called me from her residency in Gillette. She has the idea, for her birthday, of getting a group of artists together and having them make different fashion challenges every two weeks. At the end of the event, we will display the pieces in a fashion show.....It will be called Runaway Projects (a total play on Project Runway). And it sounds like excellent fun.

Nice visions to go to sleep to.....xoxox

Riches

I had a day when I wished I was independently wealthy, yet also quite happy with the riches of my life that are not monetary. The independently wealthy aspect was in regards to my job, wishing that I didn't have to work in order to live. And the riches in my life were in regards to my parents, my friends, my husband, and my dog. I wonder if I really would explore all of the activities and places I think I would if making money wasn't a necessity....Would my life be as diverse and as purposeful? I think partly I am just coming down off of the high of a really fun week. This often happens after a dance company leaves. The reality of the work that was neglected to make room for the socializing and running around raises its furry head and asks for attention.

I just got back from my book group. We read The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing. Up to now we had read what we all categorized as "pleasant" reads, nothing really too challenging. This book was not that. It showcases four different fetishes, four different desires that are not normalized in our society. Quite fascinating to explore the realms of sexuality....made me feel like I was back at Smith. This group of women that I meet with monthly is fantastic. They make me laugh and make me think.

Time for bed. A tummy full of Thai food and my new book beckoning. xoxo

Long time...

Been a long time since I have written. A whirlwind week of late dinners out, exquisite dancers with amazing bodies and personalities to match, lifting, laying marley floor, running errand after errand, smiling a lot, long nights and early mornings, inspiration, art everywhere. Alonzo King Lines Ballet is extraordinary. If you ever, ever have the opportunity to see them, do. The company is more than just talented dancers and a creative choreographer. There is something that speaks to the heart when they dance, something pure art that springs forth.

Today was a great day. I worked my legs and lungs up Mt. Glory to ski with my boy and my dog. My favorite combo. Amazing new snow, the feeling of gliding down, the lightness of the white, my growing aggressiveness with my turns. I worked from home today, and got a great deal done. Feels great to be productive. Yoga tonight made my body hum with warmth and my hips feel the most open they have in weeks.

My friend Carrie had to put her dog down today. I got her text and immediately feel into Olive with tears dripping on her fur. She licked my face with big open, brown eyes. I told her I treasure every moment that we can climb Mt. Glory together, that I can see her run, that she snuggles with me. I will be a mess. An utter, absolute mess when my day comes to let Olive enter her next life.

But for now I have a healthy pup lying next to me. And a very diverse and inspiring day behind me.

Studio Nerves

Today I fell nervous about my impending and drawn out move into this studio space of mine. I feel like my time gets eaten away by my work, my work that pays, and today I was just sensitively aware of how my attention gets directed. And how I will have to shift my priorities once I am in my studio. It is a good first step to get rid of my CCJH job, but Dancers' Workshop will also have to lessen in its demand. Or I will have to step back from the hold it has over me and my days. That is probably more of the case.

I am more on edge this week about this new venture I am on. A space of my own that I pay for and that is surrounded by other artists. I have all of these ideas that are in my head, not on paper, and I look at artists online and dream about a life of art-making. Harder to say than do. And I don't want to have expectations of myself that fall flat. The balance between not having too high of expectations and pushing oneself towards goals is a hard one for me. I already feel this need to be down there, painting the walls and moving my stuff in. Today I feel a little bit like I have to prove that I deserve to have a space, like others are watching to see if it really was meant for me....

Day

Winter is back. I woke up to wind pounding snow against my window, the morning sky that inky blue that glows with the rising sun. My bed was particularly comforting today because of the weather, and I proceeded to not only have my green tea under the comforter, but my bowl of cereal as well. And then I worked for an hour, Olive never raising her head to ask for a walk. She skied hard all weekend.

The hustle and bustle of DW is endless. I feel lucky that I like everyone that I work with, that amidst the scrambling to get everything done there are moments of laughter and chatting and smiles. I feel refreshed knowing that I am making the decision to only have one job (maybe I will count art-making as a job at times), as if that choice brings clarity to the other work at hand. As much as I may bitch, I am quite lucky, a fact I only seem to notice more and more.

Walking Olive in the dusk. Her eager jumping for joy at being free of the basement, Jamie and I huddled against the wind. I was reminded today, as I told Olive that we would take a walk later and her little ears poked up, that dogs only exist in the present. That the future means nothing to her. I want to remind myself of that more often.

Stillness

I am reading The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope, per the suggestion of my friend Vanessa. I have been really digging the mental aspect of the Anusara classes that I have been going to, how the envisioning of energy is part of holding the poses, how alignment and breathe are stressed repeatedly. Cope is a teacher at Kripalu, where my dad went while I was in college. I remember visiting him there and it being gorgeous, the Western Mass mountains stretching around.

I read something last night about finding stillness, about being silent and just taking the time to not do. About how opening that can be, how beneficial to the mind and body. I need to find that more in my life. I like being alone, but I like doing things alone and often have a hard time just sitting alone. I notice this especially in this town, where it seems if you are not moving, you are not fully living . I need to slow my life down to some degree, at least guide it in directions where I feel like I can take the time to write, doodle, daydream, and create.

My new studio space is going to help with this. I went and visited her today, in her degree of chaos that is slowly becoming controlled by the work of diligent volunteers. I am so excited about moving down and being in an atmosphere of artists. I feel like I am not putting expectations on myself, not thinking that by moving down there suddenly art is going to come pouring out of me, but rather just simply curious about where this is going to direct and throw me. I need to get rid of things in my life that are not serving me...hard when so many things are...but there are a few pieces that could change that would relieve some stress and responsibility.

The sun shone again today. Olive and I skied down Cache Creek this morning in a beam of sunlight. Tomorrow it will be -20 below and I don't see cross country skiing in our cards. Hold the sunshine....

Time-Work-Beauty-Bliss

Today I thought about how it felt when I didn't have a job a few years ago, about what I did with my time, about how I floundered a bit. I wonder if I would be the same way now. It is always easier to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but I can't help but think that I would use my time better, would feel more confident to do art and writing and put it both out there. Today I felt a bit like I was running behind the bus, just a little late for everything, and like there were multiple buses I was attempting to catch. Too much on my mind and not enough of it is important, or important to me personally!! I am liking DW right now, liking that I am calm about being there, but sometimes the list feels HUGE and insurmountable. And when I find myself sitting for hours in front of a computer screen I wonder if this is what I am really supposed to be doing.

There is a woodpecker that is doing serious work on a dead tree along Hagen Trail. Each morning there have been a few more holes and wood chips on the snow. They work so hard, banging their heads again and again and again. Yesterday Olive and I sat and watched him, my one hand on Olives nape in case she mistook the bird for a squirrel, which has happened. So diligent and eager and purposeful.

The sky a brilliant pink tonight, casting a rosy glow over everything. Having been inside all day, I opted for a dog walk rather than agility in a dirty horse arena. Olive and I met Babs and Zeppo, her Newfoundland and one of Olives boyfriends, driving and Olive and Zep exchanged doggie kisses through the window. Priceless. The open display of affection and adoration. Olive kept looking over her shoulder as they drove away, wondering why we were walking the other direction.

Dance class tonight was the most blissful part of my day. It just feels good to dance. To move in those organic and free-flowing ways. I can feel myself over thinking things, when so much about modern is just letting the flow overtake you. It made me think about how I was when I first started at Augie's, how I just wanted to get things intellectually when the true test was to let my mind quiet. Want to keep that in mind for the next modern class.

A Day of Ahhhs.....

I woke up this morning feeling like I could sleep forever. The rustle of Jamie getting ready for work, the dog snuggle from my favorite dog, a cup of hot tea all got me moving. I had a morning where I felt strong, strong while I was working out at Augies and strong in the fact that I did errands and then came home straight to CCJH work. After talking with my parents.....who are such amazing individuals. I wish that we lived closer, but their blog gives me snippets into their days, reminding me that my writing is important to post for them as well.

Listening to the State of the Union address and feeling hopeful again, although also a little disillusioned by the rhetoric words of government. I want so many things that Obama spoke about; I can only hope that such things can be implemented. When he spoke of education, I couldn't help but be annoyed that the arts and humanities are continually left out of the picture, still after all these years of a failing education system, when creativity and openness is what is so desperately needed. I am reading this wonderful book by Ken Robinson called The Element which talks about a needed shift in the way we educate. See his great talk on TED.com below.

Jamie and I went to our now weekly yoga class and it was all about heart openers and feeling compassion for oneself and others and community. It was a nice message for me tonight. It felt good to stretch open and I really love that this is something new that Jamie and I can do together. I am really loving Anusara Yoga because it is all about getting postures correct and feeling the energy that resides in our bodies, in our muscles. Much visualization, which is right up my alley.

Watched A Dog Year tonight and although the ending was a little weak, it made me cry. What dog movie doesn't? And when it has a Border Collie in it, I am just mush. I am so enthralled by these dogs, by their craziness and sensitivity to everything around them. Olive teaches me so much daily and I know that I only take in little snippets of her education.

Time for bed. Nice to write a bit before my head hits the pillow though.

My Weekend

--Gripped by The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, lying in bed on Saturday morning because I can't put it down. Not the best writing ever, but a super intriguing story.

--A walk with Jamie and Olive, the snowy trail and woods to ourselves, getting Olive all revved up so that she exerts more energy.

--Browse n' Buy scores--new Cloudveil shorts, new Nike shorts, Smartwool long underwear, a super cute shirt dress, black capri leggings, and a styley jacket/shirt. I felt like I was in thrift store heaven.

--A paper show at my favorite art gallery, inspired by the artist Judy Pfaff. www.judypfaff.org/

--More reading and then walking down the elk refuge road in the beautiful afternoon light, the Tetons swirled in a light mist.

--Dinner with friends we haven't seen for a while.

--Sleeping in

--Hanging with Audrey and Mike at their cabin in the deep woods, surrounded by trees and snow. A leisurely breakfast, a short skin up behind their house to ski down amazing powder, happy dogs and owners, cozy cabin, great company and more food, playing Settlers of Catan.

--Home to bed, full, more peaceful than when the weekend started. Hoping to hold on to this mellowness as the work week begins.

32 Years

It felt good to not dread my birthday, as I did last year, to be in a better place where it was a cause for celebration, joy, and play and not dread at turning another year older. I spent all morning alone (with Olive, so not really alone), treating myself to a breakfast burrito and a latte, perusing the Browser racks, and taking Olive for a cross-country ski. I talked to my parents and friends on the phone, felt loved through emails, texts and Facebook, and relished the time by myself, time to just think.

I spent my afternoon in a three hour yoga workshop. It was amazing and the perfect gift to myself. One of my goals this year is to release myself to the powers and connections of yoga, to bring that activity into my life and see how it changes my relationship to myself, others, activities, and daily occurrences. We did handstands (which terrify me. I think that my mom brought me to gymnastics once and that was enough. I can't even do a somersault correctly) and many, many backbends which stretched my body and my mind.

The evening was spent with good friends, with good food and fun cheesy dance music. Birthdays really are about feeling the love from those in your life, from those all over the world and right in front of you, of honoring the fact that you were brought into the world to live a life.

Dancing

I am loving my modern dance classes. It is making me feel like a little kid again, the dance harkening to those first movements we took as little ones, when rolling on the floor and being super limber were just givens. I can remember my dance class with Judy Davis in which is now the Co-op dining area, the softness of the wooden floors and lighting, the play that was associated with moving.

I wasn't in the best mood this evening and the mixture of taking Olive to the horse arena to jump, weave, tunnel and climb, and moving my own body with nine other adventurous women, helped my mind and heart completely. Olive got dance class and so did I. Hers involved horse poop (delicious) and other eager dogs. Mine involved perspiring bodies and other motivated beginning dancers.

Dancing into our dreams....

Gratefuls for 1.11.11

Gratefuls for today:

--My breakfast in my "new" cozy kitchen (Jamie and I moved into our downstairs apartment in preparation for the demolition of the upstairs).

--A Marketing Workshop that got the gears going about how I can be a better employee in both of my jobs, while keeping it all more interesting.

--A beautiful, leisurely hike up Mt. Glory with bluebird skies and a brilliant sun.

--Olives chirping on the ski down, her joy at being in the outdoors.

--A tired body and a sun-kissed face.

--A good friends kind words

--A realization that I am so happy with my decision to stay put in Jackson and not worry about my future and what I am supposed to do with it....and jumping into a greater art-making process. Walking through that fear.

--My book club, full of interesting and curious and smart ladies. We ate pasta and salad and cookies and talked about a rather dull read....

--Jamie, who started a roaring fire and turned off the TV upon my return home :)

--A full day that has left me content and ready for shut eye....

My Days

Jamie and I spent all day cleaning the downstairs kitchen and moving our bedroom to the basement as well. It was hard work, but gratifying and the first step towards our renovations on the upstairs floor. This little house needs so much help and we are eager to help make it stronger, more functional, and beautiful. Although we didn't even step outside today (Olive did to accompany Eliah to his weekly acupuncture appointment around the corner. Olive loves her uncle.) it was a fulfilling day, with obvious results at the end of the day. I like that type of work sometimes. I am trying to look at this move to the basement as exciting, like we are moving into a new house for a few months. While cleaning, I came up with the idea of having a birthday dance party in our empty upstairs next weekend. Will be a perfect opportunity--all of the furniture will be gone and we won't have to worry about ruining anything because it is all going bye-bye soon after.

I have decided some new actions for my life in the last few days. I have been feeling the overwhelming weight of my birthday, not because it is my 32nd but because it is the due date for many grad school applications. I am not prepared to send in applications, and that fact has been bothering me, hanging over my head. But yesterday an art space opened up at Teton Artlab, an amazing room that costs very little and is housed in the midst of many talented artists of all genres. And I got asked by my co-worker Jen to do an installation for a dance piece she is choreographing. An art project to work on and a space to do it in. I am agreeing to both.

And with that, my decision has been made. I feel really good about it. I was attempting to do too many things to prepare for an art therapy program in a short amount of time. I am still going to take a psychology class and I am still going to go visit Naropa, because I don't want to close doors completely. But the fact is, I am not ready to take four pre-req.'s before August, shoot a body of artwork that I feel good about, figure out who to ask for recommendations, and wrap my mind around leaving my life here to live for three years in Boulder.

Now my challenge is to carve out quality time in my new studio, to not push my art to the side.

Modern Dance

Tonight I was a Modern dancer. Initially, I did not want to go to class because it was at a late time and it was at the place that I work. But it ended up being the highlight of a rather tiring and brain-deadening day. Modern dance is the equivalent of abstract art, which as you all know I love and am partial to. So as much as I liked my Ballet class a couple of months ago, my heart really responds to the easy-going, creative, and independent dance form of Modern.

We had to express Gooey movements across the floor, followed by Sharp, Fluid, and Sparkley ones. We got to roll, prance, jump and turn. My body felt so stiff in some ways, so caught in the rigidness that can be adulthood. A good hour and a half of letting go, having fun, laughing with eight great women, and forgetting about the list a mile long that I have going in my head and on numerous scrap pieces of paper at my desks.

Freeness, a nice state to go to bed in.

Busy Bee

I am thinking about a conversation that Claire and I were having recently about whether I prefer having my days jammed packed with a billion things, which seems to be the case more often than not, or if I wish that life was just a little slower. Looking back on this first day back at work (reality and not skiing powder every day) I feel really content, more so than I did yesterday from a day of doing little. I don't know exactly what that means, but it is just in my awareness right now. During the day I felt rather stressed and crunched and juggling many balls. But in retrospect it all came together and I was able to mix the work with a workout this morning, a nice lunch at home with my dog, and a climbing session at the gym with Jame. And I feel like I accomplished tasks at work, which is really satisfactory. I suppose what gets me down a bit is how I can busy myself easily with "jobs" that aren't really hitting my soul-like art, meditating, writing, etc.

My friend Jodeen dropped a box of ginger chews and my desk today and said thank you. I didn't know what for, until she told me that her husband has been painting for the last day and a half. Harry and I had this long discussion on New Year's Eve about making art, making ourselves do art, finding the time and space and motivation, and having others view our creations. I motivated him to go home and start painting again. That is what he told Jodeen. It made me so unbelievably happy, that I could help someone in this way.

This is a blog that I am loving now: http://dearinspirationblog.blogspot.com/

And this is a blog of a yoga teacher in town: http://neeshazollinger.blogspot.com/

Loved her last entry.

xo

Last day of freedom

After so much skiing this past week, I decided to give my body a break from the cold temperatures and the exertion. With time to just think, the numerous realities of life that I have been neglecting on my winter break came tumbling down upon me. Errands to run, things to do around the house, work for both of my jobs, my art-making. And today was one of those days when I just didn't feel like doing any of it. Although I am feeling a little blah and lazy and upset with not making more of my last day of freedom, there were a few highlights:

hot tea with the perfect amount of sweet and milk.

talking with my brother and hearing maturity and thoughtfulness in this voice.

olive's grin as we walked up hagen trail.

a woodpeckers tapping and a dead trees squeaking against another tree.

fire and warmth and pajamas.

the pleasure of cooking something involved.

and now...sleep.

Cold Night on 1/1/11

Sitting by my wood stove, feeling incredibly grateful for its warmth, as I watch the sky turn a lavender blue, the chilliness almost apparent in the air through our trusty new windows. Our Christmas tree is still up (and will be for a while if I have anything to do with it. which I do :) ) and the white lights are hanging above a tired dog's sleeping little body.

The start to a new year. Always a time of such hope and expectancy. And of remembering what came before. I liked Claire's Highlights of 2010. Jamie and I did a little bit of reminiscing this morning about our year. About how we both had one of the best days of our lives in July. Spending a month in Maine with my family, getting into the mountains, my time with Claire in the Winds, winning a ribbon with Olive in agility, shaping a home with Jame, watching incredible dance and music here in Jackson, getting to know myself better than the year before.....life really is incredible, its richness, and intricacies, its surprises, joys, hardships, and loves.

Spent a good part of the day outside, despite the negative temps, skinning and skiing with Jame, Olive and pals. The sun bringing warmth to the cold, the trees covered with a rime that just shone. The wonderful feeling of working to achieve the blissful sensation of gliding down snow-covered hills. Now, contentedness with just sitting and listening to my favorite community radio and writing. 

A good first day to a new year of promise and adventure.

Happy New Year!